Oh, what an offensive word... But just imagine, is there a volunteer who can honestly and directly admit to himself and everyone that he is mediocre? I decided to find out better what mediocrity is and went searching for information on the Internet.

I learned so many offensive things... If you put all the definitions and epithets in one pile, you won’t be able to see the person in her. No man! Is it really? Let's find out!

I wanted to find a starting point for my analysis in Wikipedia, but, to my surprise, such a page was not there. Other Internet resources, each in its own way, give many definitions of mediocrity, like in a market, choose any one you like. So I chose:

Mediocre person- the one who does not stand out in any way, merges with the gray mass, values ​​​​public opinion, hates courage and risk, kills dreams, loves a stationary lifestyle, and has no goals in life.

Believe me, the others were even worse. In my opinion, today with these words they are trying to insult and belittle a very large number of people who do not have outstanding abilities. Did you know that they once wrote about the famous poet Joseph Brodsky: “Brodsky is a good poet, but mediocre...” Therefore, it is too early to lose heart!

I hear that the root of the word "mediocrity" is the word "according to one's means", and not "mediocre", as this shows phonetic analysis words. A person lives within his means, that is, within certain limits. As soon as something accumulates that can push these boundaries (money, talent, experience, skills, etc.), then life goes beyond the previous boundaries and finds itself in new, but larger ones. Vicious circle? It seems so. Although very bright people, gifted with talents and abilities, can still be outstanding. They are united by one thing, something in common, maybe this: are they interested in living like this?

In order to become outstanding among other people, you need to have a lot of things; such people constantly overcome obstacles on their life and creative path. None of them had it easy or simple. While the vast majority are accustomed to moving along the path least resistance, that’s why funny pictures appear on the Internet saying that becoming mediocre is not so difficult, in fact, you don’t even need to try very hard. Want to see what you need to do to achieve this?

11 ways to become mediocre

Just don't do anything! You will become 100% ordinary and ordinary mediocre. It is much more difficult to do something in your life, because before that you first need to come up with an idea and then start act.

In fact, almost everyone who writes on this topic on the Internet calls for this. And I propose to look at it from a slightly different angle, and say that if there were no mediocrity, then we would not know what talent and outstanding abilities, multiplied by incredible performance, are. Yes, there are not many such people, but there are among us, and for the most part, they overcome themselves every day and compete with themselves. The difference between these people is that they don't want to be mediocre skaters, mediocre programmers, mediocre engineers or scientists, they want to be the best!

What should everyone else do? Give in to despair and give up? In no case! Abraham Lincoln also noted: “I think that God is partial to ordinary and ordinary people, since He created them in huge numbers.”

I propose to observe outstanding people and try to find out and understand how they became like this? Each of them will have their own recipe for success, and its basis is titanic work. We often see how unremarkable people make history, while possessing quite ordinary data. By setting small goals for themselves, they achieve their intended goal, as a result of which their confidence in themselves and their abilities grows, which allows them to achieve subsequent goals.

The trained business skills of these people allow them to concentrate on small things and details, gradually, step by step, honing their skills. Outstanding and successful people They can get along just fine without talent. Each of them is strong because they once recognized themselves as an ordinary and mediocre person, and at some point did not want to live with it any longer. It is this kind of realistic thinking that can work wonders.

Therefore, if someone called you mediocre, do not be offended! Always remember that he who laughs last laughs best!

It’s unlikely that anyone will directly say that it’s time to agree to any option so as not to be left alone. It’s unlikely that your acquaintances will openly convince you to date a man you don’t like and don’t deserve. Still, society puts pressure, forces you to definitely look for a mate, even if those around you don’t talk about it explicitly.

Unmarried women over 30 are called too demanding and urged to lower the bar. They are more likely to experience social rejection and become the target of negative stereotypes. From childhood we are taught that a woman’s value is directly related to her ability to find a life partner. A wedding marks the transition into adulthood. Marriage is the most important relationship in adulthood. We cannot consider ourselves whole until we find our other half. Control argument: the biological clock is ticking.

It's no wonder people rush to settle down, even if they aren't ready or haven't met the right person. However, it is better to be alone than to settle for what is. There is no need to put up with mediocre relationships, wait for the person with whom you will become truly happy. Here are some scientific arguments in favor.

Fear of loneliness shifts priorities

In 2013, a group of scientists led by Stephanie Spielmann from Wayne State University in Detroit conducted a survey and found that for people who are afraid of loneliness, it is not the quality of relationships that is more important, but their presence. They agree with statements like “I'm afraid it will soon be too late to find love” and “The older I get, the harder it is to find someone.” And they are less likely to express dissatisfaction with the relationship, even if there are real problems in it.

Psychologists also conducted a study in which they staged online dating. A self-sufficient person is unlikely to show interest in a user who says in his profile: “I love my job. I need someone who will respect that and take a backseat when necessary.” But people who cannot stand loneliness are much less likely to be embarrassed by this categorical attitude in a potential partner.

When fear of loneliness drives our decisions, we often make poor choices and become even lonelier.

It is logical to assume that for them any relationship is better than none. Researchers have found that in unsuccessful relationships, they feel just as depressed and abandoned as those who do not currently have a partner.

Social connections are important for well-being, so we seek out close relationships. But when fear of loneliness drives such decisions, we often make the wrong choices. And as a result, we become even more lonely and vulnerable. There is no need to treat choosing a partner as in a game of chairs, where the main thing is to take any chair, just not to stand. This approach makes it difficult to notice signals that indicate that a person is not suitable.

Independence has advantages

Unmarried women are usually considered immature, selfish and unadjusted in life. Sometimes they are even refused to rent an apartment, preferring a “more reliable” married couple. In fact, single people are often less selfish than those who are married or living with a partner, and they are more likely to help relatives, friends and sick parents.

You shouldn't follow popular stereotypes. No matter why you or someone else is single, it could be a temporary situation or a conscious life choice. Freedom from relationships makes it possible to build strong friendships, devote yourself to your favorite activities and develop a feeling of self-esteem, which does not depend on the opinions of the partner or others. This will benefit you when you meet “your” person and build a relationship. If you are unhappy with your life, you will probably expect your partner to satisfy your needs and make it better. Over time, this will destroy the relationship. If you're already happy, there won't be unrealistic expectations that will interfere with your happiness.

True love is worth taking risks

You may never find true love. But if you find it, the winnings will more than pay for the risks. You've probably heard stories about picky women who died as old maids. There are no less stories about those who did not succumb to the pressure of relatives and friends and found a man who was ideal for them. It was worth the wait for this.

Psychologists Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky have proven that people tend to avoid losses and risks, so many people prefer to stay in mediocre relationships and miss the opportunity to find better ones.

Perhaps risk aversion is justified in financial management. But in other areas of life (in searching for a dream business or choosing a partner), this strategy is not always applicable. What's better? At the age of 40, meet the man you love with whom you will be happy, or for the rest of your life be with a person who is not suitable? If you prefer the first option, it's worth the risk.

You shouldn’t analyze a man into his pros and cons. See in general what kind of person he is, how you feel next to him

Another trap is the so-called sunk costs. For example, it’s cold outside, you have a cold, and yet you go to an outdoor concert. After all, you have already bought a ticket; you cannot return it. You forget that you still have a choice: go to a concert and get even sicker or stay warm at home. Staying in a relationship just because you've invested a lot of time and effort into it is like going to a concert if you have a cold, or investing money in a company that is doomed to fail. In any case, what is lost cannot be returned, but you can stop so as not to lose even more.

Accepting shortcomings does not mean reconciling

Sometimes women are really too picky about the qualities of their future husband. They reject great partners for unimportant reasons, such as being short. But in the long run this quality does not matter. Kindness, for example, is much more important. If your man doesn't have Brad Pitt's beauty and talent, that doesn't mean being with him is a bad idea.

You shouldn’t analyze him into pros and cons, look in general at what kind of person he is, how you feel around him. If you are comfortable in a relationship, you have common goals and values, your relationship is not mediocre. Who knows, maybe soon my husband will seem more handsome and talented than Brad Pitt.

about the author

Psychologist, works at Brandeis University.

- mediocrity...

What is he like?

Who benefits from such people?

I liked Oleg Devin’s expression:

“Mediocrity is an empty half-something...”

And here’s more from Kristina Vikhrova:

"I am a gray mouse,
I am a servant of grayness,
I'm in the big world
Like someone's toy.
I'm a billiard ball
What rushes in vain
Everything is around
Treasured meaning.
But he is incomprehensible
Out of reach:
My eyes are blind
Brain foggy..."

Mediocre person. What is he like?

I think it’s clear to everyone what to be mediocre means “to be in the middle”, to behave like an ordinary person, to meet general parameters, that is, to be normal from a statistical point of view.

As a second meaning of the word " mediocre“One dictionary defines it as: “of low merit, rather bad.” Another dictionary, published in 1984, explained the word “mediocre” as “the quality of an object between great and small, between good and bad.”

This last value most often it is implied and should upset a person. Indeed, there is hardly anything more bleak than the characteristic “mediocre”: neither this nor that, neither bad nor good, with the same advantages and disadvantages as everyone else.

Although no one likes to be known mediocre, society in one way or another encourages this position, emphasizing its expediency and secretly rejecting those who move away from mediocrity and are different from others. It does not take into account whether a person differs for better or worse from most mortals, although in reality this is most important for assessing his behavior.

It may seem that society is afraid of individuality as such and would like to turn all people into a homogeneous mass with the same and controllable essence. Often we hear praise for those who sacrifice themselves for the good of the collective, but it is not explained what kind of collective and what kind of person. It is also not specified how vicious this group of people is, and if it is, then respectable people can become its victims.

Since time immemorial, humanity has had the devilish custom of “throwing angels to be eaten by pigs.” We are constantly told that “the majority rules,” and we are warned about the dangers of selfishness, using this word only in a negative sense and not recognizing the possibility of the existence of some higher egoism, a transcendental ethical individualism, which consists in the spiritual evolution of man, and not in his personal gain or profit.

We are called upon to be altruists, to care about the welfare of others and to be happy for them, but they are not warned that the concept of “others” also includes all kinds of scoundrels, dishonest people who understand their welfare only as a successfully committed crime. By helping such people, we will contribute to their atrocities and turn into accomplices.

He believes in easy money, he can easily become addicted to gambling, hoping for a big win, and will be a passive consumer of everything vulgar, be it goods or ideas. He is devoid of individuality, character and will and therefore always supports the majority, believing that it is right. He is not capable of real effort, perseverance and self-sacrifice, but dreams of getting what he wants by taking it from those who have it.

Each of us has choice- to be a mediocre and convenient person or... different.

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A mediocre person is a convenient person in all respects: 14 comments

Cool, Snezhana! Our state, although, no, not the state, but those of its leading members who are determined only to receive pleasure in their (not the state's) life, is not at all beneficial to have people with a higher ego next to them. Give them a pension of 6 thousand rubles - let them think not about spiritual development, but about how to survive on it. They are mistaken, because such a test only strengthens the desire of citizens for the “transcendentality of ethical individualism.” You just need to put everything in its place. In this sense, the middle one was even lucky: at least in not making mistakes, darting in the other direction from the VY (not “blathering” - hence), but surviving these times.

A genius or even just talented person you have to be born. No matter what they tell us about the need for hard and persistent work (by the way, we do not deny it at all), without a psychophysiological predisposition to creativity we can achieve significant results

difficult. However, why do people speak of someone as “mediocre” with such contempt? This can be heard at school, at university, and in any group. We involuntarily envy the talented and successful. And we stigmatize those who - as it seems to us - do not stand out in any way.

What is mediocrity? or deviation? Let's think about the very meaning of the word; its etymology (internal form) often helps to understand the essence of the concept. Mediocrity is what is in between extreme points. Theoretically - between plus and minus. So why is this bad? Isn't observing the "golden mean" approved by society? However, if, for example, the scale

We display intelligence in the form of a coordinate system, where the plus is - and the extreme minus is its complete absence (from mental retardation to anencephaly), then it becomes clear that mediocrity is zero. The starting point is nothing. Nobody wants to be zero. Just as no one wants to be considered mediocre, worthless and worthless capable person. Is this where our hostility to this concept lies?

Extreme mediocrity of thinking is the inability, unwillingness or inability to go beyond the standards, established dogmas, and stereotypes. Creativity, in principle, has always been the engine of progress and development. However, only in Lately sociologists and psychologists have asked themselves the problem of “mediocrity as Is this really a formidable phenomenon? How can it be dangerous?

After all, people have traditionally been wary of those who deviate greatly in any direction from the generally accepted “norm.” Geniuses were often outcasts, eccentrics, renegades. Just like mentally disabled people, although it was to them that more

condescension. But in recent decades, such concepts and personality traits as originality, unconventionality, and creativity have been actively cultivated. Other sciences that study humans also do this. So what is the danger of mediocrity? After all, a formulaic, standard solution to assigned tasks and problems cannot be considered a sin. Just as creativity cannot be an end in itself. It seems that mediocrity is considered undesirable and dangerous, primarily because of the tendency to conformism. To follow the crowd, the herd. To blindly and thoughtlessly carry out the will of others. And this is precisely what humanity has come face to face with especially tragically over the past hundred years.

In theory, in a society with traditional and strong value systems, mediocre people follow them and accept them, if only because everyone else does. And there is nothing reprehensible in this. Another thing is that if there are no such foundations, if either dictatorship or anarchy is strong, the inability to stand out from the crowd and the desire for blind submission can be dangerous precisely because of its mass character. Mediocrity does not analyze the causes of a phenomenon, does not delve into the essence. She blends in with the crowd because “that’s how it’s supposed to be” and “that’s what everyone does.” This is the main problem. However, is mediocrity eradicable?

Mediocrity is the quality of a person who is content with little. He has no special goals or aspirations, he goes with the flow and is quite happy with that. Such a person does only what others and circumstances demand of him, but no more. He's not that bad, but there's not much good in him either. This person is mediocre and uninteresting. What needs to be done to avoid being branded as such a person? We will tell you about this.

Meaning of the word mediocrity

In dictionaries this concept is explained as mediocrity, uselessness. It is used for qualitative characteristics person, but can also refer to the evaluation of an action. For example, an actor’s performance is mediocre, or a book is mediocre, that is, of no value. You can replace the word mediocrity with synonyms - dullness, mediocrity, second-rate.

Mediocrity as a social danger

Nowadays, this quality has become so widespread that anyone with an above-average level of ambition seems to be a genius. We limit our capabilities by placing barriers, from the north - indecision, from the south - compromises, from the west - thoughts about the past, from the east - lack of purpose. Life has become gray, and we strive to be like everyone else. We besiege ourselves with norms imposed on us by others. Often we attach these norms not only to ourselves, but also to the people around us. Anyone who is not like us is an outcast. Poverty is bad, apparently a person is stupid and cannot earn money, wealth is also bad - probably the owner of houses, yachts and expensive cars stole all this from the people. This is how we live, measuring everyone with the same brush.

So why are so many people satisfied with mediocrity? The answer to this lies on the surface. We often compare ourselves with others, but it is necessary to compare ourselves today with ourselves yesterday and see what we have achieved in a day, month, year. In this case, there will be no need to compete with other people, but we will compete with our laziness and mediocrity. Stop being satisfied with low standards, it's time to set yourself a goal and strive for it. Each of us is unique. And everyone has some hidden talents. If they are too hidden, they need to be revealed and developed. By developing his talents, a person feels needed by society and sets himself more and more new goals.

How to overcome the enemy called mediocrity?

Use these tips and you will understand that for so many years you have not lived your own life, you have tried to get lost in the crowd, to be gray and inconspicuous. Become yourself. Don't be satisfied with low standards. Don't be afraid of what they will charge you with Additional requirements. They are not scary to you. You will have to make more efforts to break out from the ranks of ordinary, unremarkable people. But it will take you to a new level of life. You will improve yourself and achieve success!