Why does a person feel lonely? Feelings of loneliness: what it is and how to overcome it Feelings of loneliness

Do you know the feeling when you are alone, although it seems that you are not alone? It’s like coming to a noisy party where you know everyone very well, where you and Andrei work together in the same company, and Masha and I studied on the same course for 5 years. All these acquaintances surrounding you, it would seem, are so many topics for conversation and memories... And you have a feeling of loneliness and emptiness. Why do you feel lonely?

It's like Schrödinger's cat, when he is both alive and dead at the same time. Only here we simultaneously experience a feeling of loneliness, when we are actually not alone. A kind of paradox...

Schrödinger's Loneliness

This may sound a little complicated, but you are not alone in your feelings of loneliness. I will say right away that for some it is quite normal to spend a lot of time alone, meeting only occasionally with a couple of friends. If you are this type of person, that's great! For the rest of us, I don't have such good news.

If you often have feelings of loneliness, emptiness or isolation, this could have serious consequences for your mental and physical health. For example, chronic feelings of loneliness lead to an increased risk of death from heart disease, a weakened immune system and sleep disturbances.

Feelings of loneliness can lead to depression, and what’s the best way to eat away a bad mood and constant stress? This is where they start problems with excess weight, which further aggravate the situation.

Okay, enough about the problems. I think you understand that chronic loneliness is an insidious thing. Now let's look at the reasons for loneliness.

Why does the feeling of loneliness arise and what to do about it?

You crave intimacy

Dissatisfaction and feelings of loneliness can arise due to unrequited intimacy.
For some reason, it is believed that lonely people are necessarily hermits who avoid everyone social contacts. Actually this is not true. You may have many relationships with other people, but if they... not close enough, then you feel lonely.

This is quite easy to understand for those who have many acquaintances, not friends, but acquaintances. You don't have much in common with them. This is why there is a feeling of loneliness and emptiness, because these people are not close enough to discuss your experiences with them.

The solution here could be networking - first, get to know the person better. What if he becomes your friend? In any case, spending time together will help brighten up your loneliness and dull the feeling of emptiness.

Are you an introvert?

Introverts often find it difficult to communicate with large groups of people. Therefore, there is a misconception that introverts are lonely and withdrawn people.

And this is a mistake! While an extrovert feels like a duck to water in noisy companies and large meetings, you, introverts, have no equal in one-on-one communication or small groups (2-3 people). And even if you are not the life of the party (yet), so deeply and sincerely no one will feel the interlocutor except you. Unlike extroverts, you prefer to listen rather than talk. And this is a huge plus.

And before extroverts completely hate me, I will say that extroverts experience loneliness less often (after all, where there are noisy and fun campaigns, there are always extroverts). Most often this happens due to the fact that there are not so many “pure” introverts and extroverts.

Typically, people have both the characteristics of introverts and the characteristics of extroverts, with dominant traits of one type or another. And you can take advantage of this!

You need more quality rather than quantity in your relationship

I think you have met people (or maybe this is about you?) who have a lot of friends, but at the same time he or she is lonely. The whole point is that the quality of a relationship plays a role, not quantity. Otherwise, you will most likely be guaranteed a feeling of loneliness.

It is important to devote your time and energy to developing relationships. The time when we measured the number of friends we had in social networks, it's long gone. Now tell me, which of those 500 or 1000 friends do you really communicate with? Exactly.

This is how strong relationships are built and the feeling of loneliness and emptiness is destroyed. On mutual respect.

And do not forget that if you are ready to establish close relationships, then the person will not always reciprocate your feelings. This can lead to bad mood, depression and feelings of loneliness, but this is the law of the world. The only thing I can advise in this situation is to move on without wasting time on empty grievances. Every person has their own opinion and we must respect it!

You are in protection mode

This may sound quite strange, but maybe you yourself are pushing people away? I'll explain now.

Body language plays a huge role in communication. When talking to a person, look at yourself from the outside. Are you actively listening? Or are you constantly distracted and interrupted? Have you made eye contact? Does your body language add interest to the conversation? Or are you trying in every possible way to show that you are trying to leave as quickly as possible? This is another reason why there is a feeling of loneliness.

The other side of this coin is that you are simply surrounded people who do not need new acquaintances and friends. In this case, try to change your social circle.

Try to be more open, show interest in the interlocutor and do not hesitate to ask questions. People just love it when they are truly heard and understood!

You spend too much time on social networks

It would seem that social networks are the ideal weapon against feelings of loneliness. But that's not true. As I said above, You may have 1000 friends on Facebook or VKontakte, but how many of them are real?

Research has shown that the more time you spend on social media, the greater your feelings of loneliness may be.

It is then that we experience a feeling of loneliness, even when we seem to be not alone at all (after all, we have many friends on social networks).

So, we figured out why the feeling of loneliness arises and what to do about it. Summarizing all of the above, we can come to the conclusion that openness, yours and your interlocutor’s, mutual respect and social circle play an important role. In addition, do not forget that developing relationships requires energy and time, but it is worth it - you will forever cope with the feeling of loneliness and emptiness.

The feeling of loneliness has always been a serious problem in society. People who are prone to a negative perception of reality perceive loneliness not as a blessed solitude, but as a great personal grief.

Constant feeling of loneliness

The paradox of loneliness is that people who complain about it are most often not hermits, but, on the contrary, are constantly surrounded by society. This is a problem in cities and even megacities, but not in villages. In addition, feelings of loneliness usually plague young people who do not have hobbies or time-consuming work. Working people, as well as adults, are much less likely to complain about loneliness. Based on this, loneliness for many is just a desire to attract more public attention to their person.

Many people are unfamiliar with loneliness for one simple reason: they are active and cheerful, tend to expand their circle and show interest in people, establishing new contacts. Those who get used to loneliness most often doom themselves to it, because without receiving attention from specific individuals, they recognize themselves as lonely, without trying to expand their horizons of communication. Some people, without knowing it, use conversations about loneliness as an everyday manipulation: by complaining to someone about their condition, a person is thus persistently calling for help.

How to get rid of the feeling of loneliness?

For many, it is easier to drown in self-pity than to take on the task of improving life and establishing contacts with the outside world. Based on this, in the question of how to deal with feelings of loneliness, there is only one option - to act!

Often, a feeling of loneliness haunts people who have too much free time and lack hobbies, work and interests. Thus, the solution to the problem of “how to overcome the feeling of loneliness” for them lies in enrolling in courses or part-time work.

Often the question of how to cope with feelings loneliness, the simplest solutions correspond.

If not perceived and accepted by other people, a person may experience a feeling of loneliness, uselessness and melancholy, even if he is in society.

When a person is among other people, even close ones, but is not understood and accepted, then he will also have a feeling of uselessness - a feeling of loneliness in the crowd.

Feelings of loneliness and uselessness

A person expects understanding and recognition of his personality, and feels the need for love. If this does not happen, he realizes his alienation from the environment and experiences it as feeling of loneliness and useless to anyone.

If there are objective, real connections with others, a person may experience a feeling of loneliness (for example, in a family) if he sees that he is not loved or understood.

Loneliness is an occasionally occurring acute feeling of anxiety and tension in a person associated with an unsatisfied desire to have friendly or intimate relationships.

The following types of human feelings of loneliness have been identified:

1. Hopelessly lonely people, dissatisfied with their relationships, with feelings of emptiness, abandonment, and deprivation.

2. Periodically and temporarily lonely people are the most socially active.

3. Passively and persistently lonely people who have come to terms with loneliness and are exhausted by it.

4. People who are not lonely (who do not experience this feeling) experience isolated cases of social isolation as a voluntary and non-oppressive solitude.

Carl Rogers identifies two types of human loneliness.

First associated with his alienation from himself, from his experience, from the functioning of his body. This is a consequence of a failure in the perception or assimilation of stimuli that contribute to the development of the body and its self-preservation.

Second type is associated with assessing the quality of relationships with other people or a person’s acceptance (non-acceptance) of himself at the physiological and psychological levels.

These ideas of Rogers once again show how ambiguously the phenomenon of feelings of loneliness is understood, which is a consequence of the ambiguous understanding of communication.

A person's feeling of loneliness stands out as

Situational and transient feelings of loneliness. Chronic loneliness occurs when a person is unable to establish satisfactory relationships with significant people over a long period of life.

A situational feeling of loneliness can be a consequence of some unpleasant events: the death of a loved one, the breakdown of a marital relationship. After some time, a person comes to terms with his loss and partially or completely overcomes loneliness.

Transient loneliness is expressed in short-term attacks of feelings of loneliness that pass without a trace.
Loneliness is necessarily associated with experiences that arise as a result of dissatisfaction with connections with the outside world due to superficiality or even a breakdown in these connections.

The feeling of loneliness is a painful emotional experience of subjective isolation that takes over the thoughts and actions of an individual. It can be experienced as anxiety, depression, sadness, boredom, longing, nostalgia for lost connections, despair.

We can talk about loneliness only when the person himself realizes the inferiority of his relationships with people in some important aspect. The experience of loneliness is influenced not so much by actual relationships with other people, but by the idea of ​​what these relationships should be like. Therefore, a person who has a strong need for communication experiences loneliness even if he is in contact with only one or two individuals, and someone who does not experience such a need may not feel a feeling of loneliness even with a long absence of communication with people.

So, the feeling of loneliness is understood as painful emotional condition, caused by real or imagined dissatisfaction of the need for interpersonal relationships (affiliation).

The origin of the feeling of loneliness

We are born alone, we live alone and we die alone, some scientists believe; others believe that the state of loneliness first appears in an aggravated form in adolescence and young adulthood. Loneliness has been found to be more common in adolescence than in adulthood, and is felt more strongly among young people. (Teenager Personality)
Premature separation from maternal affection, as well as existing shyness, are cited as a factor predisposing a person to a feeling of loneliness; it is also noted that the lack of close intimate attachment and significant friendships in a person contributes to the emergence of loneliness.

The number of friends and the frequency of contacts with them are less significant factors than subjective satisfaction with the relationship. The feeling of loneliness does not decrease with intense communication; it can weaken or disappear only with trusting relationships and a feeling of emotional and human closeness of the partner.

12 causes of chronic loneliness have been identified:
1. Inability to tolerate forced solitude.
2. Low self-esteem (like: “They don’t like me”, “I’m a bore”).
3. Social anxiety (fear of ridicule, judgment, sensitivity
to someone else's opinion).
4. Communication clumsiness, ineptitude.
5. Distrust of people (isolation, disappointment).
6. Internal stiffness (inability to open up).
7. Behavioral component (constant choice of unsuccessful partners).
8. Fear of a rival, fear of being rejected.
9. Sexual anxiety (inability to relax, feelings of shame, anxiety).
10. Fear of emotional intimacy.
11. Lack of initiative, lack of confidence in one’s desires.
12. Unrealistic claims (all or nothing, choice according to the model).

Feelings of loneliness and gender differences

The feeling of loneliness in women is associated with longing for a specific person, the absence of a loved one (female obsession), while in men it is with the awareness of their uselessness, with failure in self-realization, with dissatisfaction with their lives. Women are more varied in finding activities and ways to overcome loneliness than men, and prefer active actions, while men are passive.

Lonely people consider themselves less competent than non-lonely people and explain their failure to establish interpersonal relationships lack of ability. In many cases, establishing intimate relationships causes increased anxiety in them. They are less creative in finding ways to resolve problems that arise during interpersonal communication.

Lonely people tend to dislike others, especially those who are sociable and happy, thereby becoming defensive and making it difficult for themselves to connect. good relations with people. Lonely people are focused on themselves, on their problems and experiences. They are characterized by increased anxiety and fear of catastrophic consequences of an unfavorable combination of circumstances in the future. When communicating with other people, lonely people talk more about themselves. They are easily irritated in the presence of other people and are prone to not always justified criticism of the people around them.

Lonely people are highly self-critical, have low self-esteem, feel worthless, incompetent, and unloved. They are overly sensitive to criticism and view it as confirmation of their inferiority. They have little trust in other people, which means that they have difficulty accepting compliments addressed to them and are extremely cautious. Lonely people hide their opinions and are often hypocritical. At the same time, they are highly suggestible or overly stubborn in interpersonal contacts.

The way a person responds to loneliness depends on how the person explains his loneliness. With an internal locus of control, when a person believes that everything that happens to him depends only on him, a lonely person is more likely to experience depression, and with an external locus of control, when everything is blamed on external factors, aggression. Therefore, a lonely person tends to be either submissive or hostile.
(aggressiveness)

To summarize what we have read, we can identify 12 reasons for the feeling of loneliness (see above), and by engaging in introspection and correction of your personality, even without a specialist, although it is more reliable with one, you can achieve tangible results in overcoming this depressing feeling.

Many people are familiar with the feeling of loneliness. It can be a fleeting sensation or a constant depressing state.

Types of loneliness

All people are unique, and therefore their needs for communication and the amount of time spent in society are varied. Some people need to be alone to rest, think, and reflect. For others, it is vital to be among people, to attract attention. But both of them can experience a pressing and unpleasant feeling of loneliness. After all, the division into extroverts and introverts is quite arbitrary. And most people can be classified as ambiverts, combining to one degree or another the qualities of the first two types.

There are emotional and social loneliness.

The first type occurs in a situation where a person does not have strong emotional ties with significant people (parents, spouses, friends). Increased anxiety, feelings of despair and personal vulnerability are inherent in this condition. Depression often develops against the background of emotional loneliness.

The second type occurs when a person has lost strong social connections, for example, due to a change of place of residence, work, study. A feeling of social isolation, lack of purpose, and boredom accompany this condition.

How to deal with loneliness?

When loneliness becomes a problem, you should not revel in this feeling, but try to cope with it.

It is better to treat this condition as an opportunity to understand yourself. Use loneliness as a “springboard” to move to another level of personal development.

And first you need to understand what type of loneliness you experience. What exactly is missing? It is also important to accept that loneliness is just a feeling, and a large number of people on Earth experience it.

The basis for overcoming loneliness is the following changes:

• way of thinking;
• lifestyle.

How to change your way of thinking?

To change your thinking you need:

• learn to understand and express your feelings;
• transform negative thoughts into positive ones;
• Don't divide the world into black and white.

The ability to understand and express your feelings will help cope with more than just loneliness. In order to deal with emotions and experiences, it is best to keep a diary. By recording and analyzing your feelings, you can understand at what point the feeling of loneliness arises and what provokes it. Having thus understood the source of the problem, you can find a way to solve it.

Thinking (its type) shapes the reality around us. Prone to negative thinking people only notice the negativity around them. And eternal mental dissatisfaction with the world leads to the fact that a person experiences only negative emotions.

If you expect a positive outcome from future events, then this is more likely to happen. Even if not everything goes smoothly, it is better to note the positive aspects and not dwell on the negative ones.

Having received an invitation to a party (corporate event, alumni meeting), you should not refuse with the thought that you will be bored the whole evening; it is better to think that this is an opportunity to make new acquaintances or have a pleasant conversation.

In order to think positively, you should begin to rebuild negative thoughts by adding positivity to them. Not: “My classmates don’t understand me,” but: “I don’t have friends at the university yet, but I will find them.” It's quite difficult, but if you start small, you can achieve success. You should spend 10 minutes a day tracking negative thoughts and reformulating them. And when it starts to work out without difficulty, increase the time. Ideally, this process should take place throughout the day. This will help you look at the world differently.

It is also necessary to stop dividing the world into black and white. Just because it’s bad now doesn’t mean it will always be that way. It is necessary to stop these thoughts.

If worries about “eternal loneliness” haunt you, it is better to remember situations when communication left a feeling of mutual understanding. And also that this was not always the case.

How to start changing your lifestyle?

Practical actions could be as follows:

• find something you like;
• change your usual lifestyle;
• find like-minded people;
• get a pet;
• participate in volunteer activities.

To get rid of loneliness, it is important to fill the day with interesting and enjoyable activities. Probably everyone will be able to remember what they always wanted to learn (drawing, programming, dancing, embroidery, playing the guitar). Having found something to his liking, a person brings positive emotions into his life.

It’s difficult to get rid of loneliness if you live in a home-work mode all the time and while away your evenings watching TV or watching TV series online. Walking in nature helps improve your emotional state. Take a walk in the park, make it a pleasant habit, and negative thoughts will recede.

In order not to sit at home in the evenings, you can buy a subscription to a fitness club, swimming pool, drawing or dance studio. The main thing is that the activity brings pleasure.

And it’s easier to get to know each other if you share the same hobby.

You can also find like-minded people on the Internet on thematic forums or in groups on social networks. virtual communication with people with similar views often turns into reality.

Helps you cope with feelings of loneliness a pet. The main thing is that communication with a cat or dog does not completely replace communication with people.

You can take your mind off thoughts of loneliness by participating in volunteer projects. Visit children in boarding schools, lonely old people, or help homeless animals. Participation in volunteer organizations helps to build stronger emotional connections and get more pleasure from communication. And all this will help overcome loneliness.

It is important, trying to get rid of the oppressive feeling of loneliness, to be attentive to new acquaintances. A person experiencing strong negative experiences is vulnerable and can easily become “easy prey” for various manipulators. You can understand that a new friend is not interested in healthy and warm communication by the following signs:

• the person is too sweet, caring and tries to fill all his free time;
• such people experience attacks of bad mood if they are excluded from plans for the evening;
• they control where and with whom their “friend” spends time;
• Usually you won’t get a return favor from such people; they take advantage of others for their own benefit.

Loneliness is an unpleasant feeling, but you can overcome it and at the same time enrich your inner world. The main thing is not to feel sorry for yourself and not to slide into negativity, but to gradually change your lifestyle and thoughts.

People are lonely because instead of bridges

they build walls.

More often you hear and read from women with families and children that they are lonely. Some explain their feeling of loneliness solely by the fact that their husband has lost interest in them or has become completely immersed in work or hobbies and has stopped paying attention. Because of this, the woman felt abandoned and “useless to anyone.”

Other women feel unbearably lonely because their marriage is crumbling under the pressure of mutual misunderstanding and lack of emotional connection. And their beloved husbands cheat on them with their mistresses. And there is no strength to endure this betrayal of a loved one. But we have to live together, because we have children, a shared apartment, and we’re used to each other. They live a hard and joyless life, alone together, but cannot part.

Still others suffer from a feeling of loneliness because they do not find any meaning in family, entertainment, and indeed in this consumer extravaganza of life. They seclude themselves voluntarily and do not allow anyone into their lives, while at first they are comfortable in their solitude, and only when they are among people, especially in holidays, they acutely feel their loneliness.

And some consider themselves the smartest, so much so that they cannot communicate with the “lagging” opposite sex. They not only cannot find a mate, but consider it a pointless exercise. Lonely and proud, ALONE among fools... They feel discomfort, but do not realize its cause.

Why do people feel lonely?

Loneliness has many faces and manifestations. I am not talking here about pleasant solitude or physical solitude for a person. We are talking about an internal negative state - not feeling connected to other people: I AM ALONE.

Man is a collective being, and develops only among people and thanks to them. And humanity - one system, self-developing and self-regulating, where everyone performs specific function. It’s like cells and organs in the human body - they perform their function for the sake of the life of the whole organism. A cell that has ceased to perform its function for the benefit of the integrity of the entire body is destroyed by the system. The correct cell is not.

It’s the same with people who, in their suffering, have come to the feeling of “I am alone.” Any suffering tells us that a person does not fulfill its role given by nature. What is this role today reveals system-vector psychology, and therefore the causes of such conditions as loneliness.

We are accustomed to looking for reasons for their feelings of loneliness in the external environment- a husband who doesn’t understand us, cheats on us, people are idiots, an imperfect world that doesn’t give us what we deserve, but not in myself.

Modern knowledge of the eight-dimensional structure of the human psyche allows us to accurately differentiate our states and understand the reasons for the feeling of loneliness. Moreover, you can do this yourself without visiting a psychologist.

The problem of loneliness is more relevant for people with visual, sound and anal vectors in certain states.

Feeling of loneliness of the visual vector: I want to love, but I am constrained by fear.

A feature of the visual psyche is high emotional amplitude, receptivity, the desire to get close to a person, express your feelings to him and receive a response. People with a visual vector more subtly feel the mood, emotions of another, and enjoy intimacy with a person. They are the ones who can truly love: unselfishly and selflessly.

When they are deprived of this opportunity, they suffer. In fact, it is not someone who is depriving them of the opportunity, but they do not implement it themselves your true desire is correct.

“…. I found out that he had been partying all our life together... I followed the link from his mail and read his correspondence on a dating site... I told him about it, he began to deny it, said that he no longer sits there, what’s more? he won’t, he only loves me, like our relationship just wasn’t going well, so he was looking for distractions on the side. I always believed him, even when I understood that it was stupid and he was definitely deceiving. He swears his love, tried to kick her out more than once with weeks of hysterics, but he says he won’t leave. That's how we live.... I feel so bad, lonely and hurt... I believed him so much, but he always took advantage of it, he wouldn’t spend the night at home and would come as if nothing had happened...”

For example, it seems like there is a beloved husband, but he is unfaithful. And she can no longer give him love because of the resentment that stifles her. And the fear that has arisen that her husband will leave her alone constrains her, does not give way to her feelings. Fear does the exact opposite to us - it makes us feel sorry for ourselves and demand feelings for ourselves in order to enjoy them, to extinguish our fear.

Visual loneliness always means “I miss the person.” So I want an emotional connection with him, but I don’t realize this desire with action.. I don’t realize my rich emotional amplitude - I don’t give my feelings of love, affection, tenderness and I suffer from it.

The feeling of loneliness of a visual person may also be associated with a lack of reciprocity, a response from the object of affection. Unrequited love can make the viewer feel very lonely and self-pitying.

In any case, whether or not there is an object to create an emotional connection, if I feel loneliness, it means I am not realizing my feelings outward - to this world. I began to consume them for myself: they fear for themselves, and feel sorry for themselves. I have built a wall of fear between myself and people, and it gets thicker every day because my heart is silent.

Feeling of loneliness sound vector: alone among fools.

The peculiarity of a person with a sound vector is a constant internal search for meaning in everything. Egocentrism, his property, thanks to which he is focused on his inner world, on your thoughts, trying to express hidden states in words. This is his innate desire, and desires to physical world he doesn't have. The world outside is illusory for sound people, since there is no desire for it, like other vectors. Due to such features of the sound psyche, it has its own task - feel another person's state as if it were your own.

Solitude and silence, night time are very comfortable for sound engineers; in these conditions they can calmly hone their thoughts. That’s why the sound people say: “I love loneliness.”

The egocentrism of the sound artist is given by nature and is simply necessary for focusing on his states. However, he also becomes barrier to development and knowledge, because focusing directly on oneself leads to an increase in emptiness, a feeling of loneliness and depression.

Sound loneliness as suffering is in the sense of not feeling people, a world for which I have no desire from the beginning. Alone with his thoughts and states, closed in on himself, separated by his thoughts from the “mediocrity” of others, the sound artist mistakenly comes to the conclusion about his genius. I am the only one who is smart and searching, and everyone around me is a fool.

This is a dangerous condition that can result in a complete loss of sense of reality, as described here: http://tarvic.livejournal.com/50369.html. But this may not happen if every sound artist uses the tool to become aware of their psyche.

The feeling of loneliness of audio-visual people.

One part of such a person’s psyche is visual, striving to create an emotional connection with a person, and the other, sound, wants to be in solitude, think about meanings and merge with God. Both of these parts in me complement each other, and do not quarrel when I realize both desires outward. It looks like this: a spectator who wants to get closer, actively gives himself to people, shares his emotions, listens, empathizes, and willingly responds to the moods of others. We usually say that a person is in a good mood. And suddenly, a person withdraws from people, becomes thoughtful, demands peace and solitude, and keeps his distance. We usually say that he is in a bad mood today. In fact, a person is naturally thrown into sound after being filled with visual desire, and this is temporary. This is a normal alternation of states in auditory-visual people.

Contradiction and suffering arise when when there is no implementation these vectors, their natural roles. On the one hand, I wish for loneliness: my sound part of the psyche requires solitude, withdrawal into myself to compensate for external traumatic factors, for this I do not need people, and on the other hand, I suffer a lot because I cannot fulfill my visual desire - to give my feelings to a person .

The desire for the sound vector is dominant, and if a person experiences bad conditions for a long time - depression, a feeling of loneliness, he will not be able to follow the visual desire and go out to people: notice the beauty of nature, mood loved one, understand his condition. On the contrary, he is closed in his egocentrism and cannot sense people. Without awareness of your conditions, it is impossible to get out of such loneliness.

Feeling of loneliness of the anal vector: resentment and memories.

The loneliness of a person with an anal vector is very often associated with the inability to enter into a relationship due to mental rigidity. The psyche of anal people is turned to the past, which in their feelings is always better than the present, and even more so the frightening future. A peculiarity of the psyche of anal people is that they digest changes slowly and do not know how to switch themselves quickly (compared to a skin person).
A man with an anal vector often hostage of the first relationship experience. For example, a man (with the skin vector, of course) left the family a long time ago, remarried, and she is an anal, faithful and honest woman who sits and suffers, and believes that everything can still be reversed... that you just need to wait and he will return... Sighs, remembering how good it was, grieves, cries. At the same time, resentment towards the person who left her settles in the soul. This destructive feeling that “I didn’t get enough, but I deserve it” is constantly growing, depriving me of the opportunity to act and enjoy life. And life passes in resentment and complete loneliness.

People who are insecure and have low self-esteem often suffer from feelings of loneliness..html

When the visual vector is added to the anal vector, a person suffering from a feeling of loneliness says that no one needs him and is not interesting. Visual emotionality increases anal resentment, a person has a hard time emotionally, he is inactive, unable, not knowing how to get out of the emotional trap:

“...fear, fear of being misunderstood, fear that they will turn away from you, etc. on the list...but, I want to note, this fear is justified, not out of nowhere. for obvious reasons ( there were a lot of negative experiences in the past, deception and betrayal) now I have enough on my own it's hard to believe that anyone could be interested in me..." Taken here: http://begushie.ru/

Today people are born multi-vector, and the presence of all three designated vectors in a person, if they are not realized, manifests itself in enormous suffering, and even serious illnesses.

There was a period in my life when I too suffered from a feeling of loneliness. Knowing how it works is a huge relief. Now I know for sure that the path from loneliness to happiness begins with understanding yourself:

Previously, I didn’t fit into groups (I judged people), everywhere felt isolated, separate. I have been producing wrong thoughts in my life. I began to understand...

If earlier I hated the whole world, or at least individual situations or individual people, now I have established a connection with this “hated” world, and to tell the truth, this connection is now positive.

…emptiness, huge black hole . You don’t want anything, you live by inertia, you don’t live, but you pull the burden of existence, every day, like Groundhog Day. Eternal insomnia, millions of fears, no interests. Not a person, but a ghost, and life somehow passes by and in vain.

... Houses I was going crazy alone...or slept 14-15 hours a day, trying to forget. What now? Changes.

...can’t get out of bed again, again there is no strength or desire to go somewhere or do something. You tear yourself out of bed, player in your ears, music louder and somewhere far away from here into the world of pleasant sounds and beautiful poetry. Taking off your headphones, you realize that nothing has changed... in you...

The article was written using training materials on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan