Decide what will happen next. How to make the right decision? Which decision is correct? What influences decision making

Each of us at a certain point in time faces a certain choice. There is a need to make a decision. Before you implement it, you need to weigh the pros and cons so that you don’t regret missed opportunities later. Exist various ways and decision-making techniques that will help you make difficult choices and eliminate indecisiveness and feelings of dissatisfaction.

Main difficulties

How to make a decision in a short time and not reproach yourself later for making the wrong choice? This question is asked by many people who find themselves in such a situation. What to rely on, where is the truth and where is the lie?

In order to do this, the following rules must be observed:

• take your time, give yourself time

Whatever the situation, it is better to take a short time out and think carefully before making a decision. The modern pace of life leaves less and less time for thinking and requires an instant response, however, it is better to think a little and do it than to later look for a way out of a deadlock.

There are two types of people who can be divided into two types: slow-witted and hasty. The first ones think carefully and weigh everything before making a decision, which is why they may miss profitable opportunities or be late. As a rule, people of this type are afraid of responsibility and, on a subconscious level, want someone else to do it for them. However, the decisions made by slow-witted people are distinguished by great wisdom and balance.

“Hurry people” are people who act first and think later. They can instantly make a decision and not doubt their choice, only then the consequences can be very unpredictable and create even more problems. Excellent leaders, irreplaceable where you need to quickly find your bearings.

Your task is to find the “golden mean” and, in various life circumstances, act as the situation requires.

• focus on

Often this quiet inner voice tells us the right decisions, but we don’t hear it at all behind the “noise” of other thoughts and experiences. To understand what he wants to convey to us, do an exercise called “Awareness.” To do this, take a comfortable position and relax, then concentrate your gaze on some luminous object. Try not to focus on the thoughts that come to your mind, leave it “empty”. After some time, you will be able to feel certain sensations in your body or thoughts that will visit you like insights. It will become obvious to you how best to act in a given situation.

• don't make a deal with yourself

Always listen to your feelings, they rarely deceive. However, one should not confuse fleeting sensations such as anger, resentment, anger, fear with deep sensations that are constantly present in the soul. They are the ones who can suggest the right way out of any situation, but you should not make a decision under the influence of emotions. This can cause big problems.

It so happens that in a situation of choice, a certain decision, based on logical reasoning, seems to be the most correct, but, as they say, it is not to the soul. In this case, reliance should be placed on the “inner voice”, since, in most cases, it shows the right path.

• don't let yourself be pressured

Don't make decisions based on immediate circumstances. It will not be yours, but the crowd that imposed it. However, you, not the crowd, will have to pay for the consequences of such a choice. Decisions made under pressure then cause feelings of dissatisfaction, emptiness and missed opportunities. For example, a young woman is forced to marry a man who is disgusting to her and does not need her. However, relatives insist, because it will be beneficial for everyone. The groom is promising and wealthy, the girl and her family will become related to a rich and high-ranking family. The choice is hers. Having succumbed to the influence of her relatives, she can say “yes,” but the question is whether she will be happy at the same time. future life, or say no and be free.

• impact analysis

Of course, it is impossible to calculate all life scenarios. However, it is quite possible to imagine the overall picture of making a particular decision. Don't fuss, don't push yourself, this can lead to a serious mistake. Give yourself time to think everything through; only in a relaxed state can you solve this or that problem and draw a conclusion.

• coming to terms with losses

There is such a factor as alternative possibilities. It is impossible to do everything and try everything in this life. We choose a certain path for ourselves and often regret the missed opportunities. What would happen if: I married “Ivanov”, agreed to work in this company, went to live in another city, etc. It always seems to us that if we had acted differently, our lives would have turned out much better.

Therefore, before making a certain decision, imagine what you might be missing out on and come to terms with it. In the future, it will be easier to recognize this as a consequence of your own choice, and not of “evil fate.”

Decision making methods

You can make the right choice using the following methods:

• "action - reflection"

This method of decision-making came to us from the east from the Japanese samurai. In battle, a quick assessment of the situation and an appropriate reaction were necessary. This method is good for people in military professions, doctors, rescuers, and athletes. They are required to quickly assess the situation and make the right decisions. This doesn't always work out. However, this approach provides a large amount of information, which allows one to accumulate certain experience in responding to extreme situations and prepare specialists for this.

The quick reaction of people whose profession requires immediate response in certain situations is based on the knowledge that was accumulated by their predecessors. They do not work “at random”, but know what reaction will follow as a result of this or that action.

• "reflection - action"

A lot of different literature has been written about this method of decision-making. This is the Western approach. In the east, they have a different opinion on this matter and believe that if you think about something for too long, then nothing good will come of it.

Of course, long thoughts give rise to a large number of diverse thoughts, which are then forgotten. Therefore, all information must be recorded on paper and then analyzed. Thus, you will have before your eyes a visual display of all mental activity, with the help of which you can collect all the “cockroaches” together and get a logically balanced decision.

This is what forensic specialists often do during the investigation process. They attach evidence, photographs, significant aspects of the case to a special board that is in front of them and try to put all the pieces together.

The “reflection-action” method works quite well, with its help you can get mature, informed decisions on a particular problem.

• "insight"

This is one of the most incomprehensible and mysterious methods. It is also often symbolically designated in the form of a burning light bulb. The individual suddenly has an “insight” regarding some issue. On an intuitive level, without having much information, he can very quickly make one decision or another.

This method is also called “feeling” or inner vision. Answers to assigned tasks are found on the basis of extensive accumulated experience in a particular business or talent. For example, this includes brilliant commanders such as A. Suvorov, F. Ushakov, etc., who did not suffer a single defeat in battles, controlling the army and relying on their intuition and experience.

This method of decision making has four stages:

• preparatory

This is the moment when a person begins to look for a solution to a particular problem. He reads literature, looks through various sources, experiences something in practice.

• maturation

At this stage, the individual begins to put all the information received together in order to make a final decision.

• insight

This is the moment when a person finds the small missing fragment for the whole big “picture” that he created earlier, based on accumulated experience.

• implementation

After insight, the individual begins to apply mature solutions in practice to check whether his guesses are correct.

Various inventions can serve as striking examples of this. For example, the classic suspension bridge design was created in a similar way. The scientist who made a discovery in this area searched for a long time for a solution to this problem. He studied many books, however, the idea finally formed in his head only when he saw a spider weaving a web.

These three methods are the main and most common in modern world. Each of them has its own advantages and disadvantages, which one to choose - it all depends on you.

Decision making is influenced by certain factors, these include the following:

• room temperature

This is associated with feelings of bodily comfort. As a number of experiments show, people tend to make more loyal and positive decisions if the room is warm and comfortable. However, there is a tendency to shift the responsibility for taking it to someone else.

• limited choice

The fewer choices a person has, the more satisfied he is with the decision he makes. During the experiment, a situation was created in which two groups of people participated. The first was offered a choice of 25 candies, and the other was only given five, of which only one had to be chosen.

Those participants in the experiment who were provided with a smaller assortment experienced greater satisfaction and promised to definitely purchase these candies.

• irritation

A state of slight irritation allows you to take a more balanced answer to the question of any situation and present weighty arguments in its defense. This happens because the stress hormone adrenaline begins to be released in the body, which stimulates psychological defense mechanisms. The brain begins an active search for the optimal solution.

• intuition

Intuition helps solve more complex problems, while simple ones are better left to consciousness. According to scientific research, at the subconscious level the brain functions many times faster, producing a ready-made solution in just 7 seconds.

• background music

Fast music in the background helps you make informed decisions quickly, biological level, improving brain function and memory.

• nutrition and physical activity

People who eat right and exercise regularly are able to make decisions quickly and easily. , frequent and physical inactivity significantly reduce brain activity. Consciousness becomes as if clouded.

• level intellectual development

People who constantly educate themselves are able to find answers several times faster than their colleagues. This is due to the fact that they have a large amount of knowledge in certain areas, and are able to quickly assess the situation and eliminate the problem.

These factors can act not only individually, but also in combination, representing a complex of factors that influence decision making.

Making a decision is always difficult; this process is influenced by a large number of different factors, such as pressure from others, limited time frames, missed alternative opportunities, etc. There are several ways: “action - reflection”, “reflection - action”, “insight”. At the same time, such factors as the level of comfort, state of health, level of intellectual development, etc. also influence.

Our whole life is woven from many decisions that we make every minute. It happens every second, and even unconsciously. At some moments we think about how to make a decision, at other moments making a decision is required only to perform some actions that are familiar to us. But one way or another, in order to start doing something, you must first make a decision.

Did you know that there are a huge number of things, even life-changing ones, that you can achieve by thinking about it for just one minute. Just 60 seconds of our time.

Is 1 minute a lot or a little?

Perhaps some of you will smile now and think to yourself that this does not happen. And that serious and business people should weigh the pros and cons... Yes, I agree with this, although this already comes after you have decided to act in this direction.

Let's say you've been thinking about changing jobs for a month. So, sometimes, after gossip with colleagues or a meeting with a successful classmate who, in the same time as you, has achieved much more in his life. But then, under the pressure of everyday routine, this unclear desire completely disappears from your field of vision. And once again someday it will appear timidly and disappear just as strangely.

But you just need to distract yourself from all other matters at such a moment, concentrate, ask yourself a few serious questions and decide now and here: how much I want to leave this job. For those who have particular doubts, you can draw on a piece of paper or in your imagination the well-known “pluses and minuses” (the pluses are why I like all this and am happy with it, the minuses are all the things that make me unable to continue working here), We determine what is more and quickly make a decision.

Yes, I know, I know. Now say that if you hurry, you will make people laugh. Yes, this happens too. But you must clearly understand that almost any decision can be made in a minute. Almost anything. It is clear that not all. Here, too, the mind must be turned on.

Well, would you agree that such a non-trivial desire, how to become a millionaire, can be accepted in a minute? No, I hear it in the comments... I bet you, you can read about this in a very fascinating and interesting book"One Minute Millionaire" by Mark Victor Hansen and Robert Allen. A book about business, I think many will be interested in reading it. The authors claim that you can make the decision to become a millionaire in just a minute. Everything that follows is no longer relevant to making a decision. Do you agree?

And in our fairly common example about the desire to change jobs, there was simply not that minute of time to stop for a minute and accept correct solution. You know, I also had such life situations when the decision took a long time to mature, but I did not dare, because of the large number of pluses, to make the decision that I needed. Until the moment when there were more minuses. Most likely, this is normal, and it is quite possible that if I had acted faster, I would not have missed so many opportunities.

The secret of successful people

Do you know the secret successful people, and why are they so much more effective in their lives than many of us? They just manage to do more in the same amount of time. And they don’t just manage to do more, but they manage to do more IMPORTANT things. Here's a simple secret. If we come to an agreement with ourselves and do one more important thing every day than the previous day, I assure you that our personal effectiveness will increase significantly in a short time.

This means that the next day we will have to spend not one minute making a decision, but two, since we also should have not one, but two tasks. It is clear that no one forces us to go on forever; nevertheless, all our affairs must first of all be brought to a logical result. But if you approach this moment wisely, then the main things will appear regardless of our participation with enviable regularity.

The most important thing: how to make a decision

And here I will give a few more interesting thoughts on how to make a choice.

heads or tails

You are walking along the seashore and notice a strangely shaped bottle half sticking out of the sand.
You pick it up and open it.
A light mist emanates from the bottle, which turns into a fairy-tale genie.
Unlike other genies, this one does not offer to grant you three wishes.
He gives you the right to choose.
Option one:
You will receive five extra years of life if another person, chosen at random, has their life shortened by five years.
Do you want to prolong your life under such conditions?
Option two:
You can get twenty thousand dollars if you agree to get a tattoo the size of a dollar bill.
Will you take this money?
If so, where will you place the tattoo and what design will you choose?
Option three:
When you wake up tomorrow morning, you will be able to acquire a new quality or skill.
What will you choose?

Not a bad test. And how many similar alternatives appear in our lives when you cannot decide what to do in a given situation. Experts advise developing your own system for evaluating options, which is based on many factors: logic, reason, practical experience, emotions, feelings.

The level of our intellectual form depends on how actively we participate at the moment of decision making. That's why it's so important to learn how to choose wisely. It’s not for nothing that they say: “You are what you choose.” By the way, this statement comes from management consultant John Arnold. The apt statement very quickly became an aphorism.

What do you need to do to make a decision?

Let's stop for a minute and find out the most important thing that will help us learn how to make the right decision:

1. These are truisms, my friends. I'm sure you know all this. In fact, you know all this, you just don’t apply it. The problem is that you still need to DO it. And if you do unusual things, it means that you need to leave your comfort zone. But this is already uncomfortable. Is it true? That's why Let's start and get out of our comfort zone.

If you don't know where you're going, it doesn't matter which path you choose.
Brothers Karamazov, outstanding jugglers

3. Defining the parameters, which our goals must correspond to. It is not difficult. Let’s ask ourselves just three important questions.

What do I want to receive?

What do I want to avoid?

4. We are looking for an alternative solution. We try to ensure that our requirements obtained by answering the listed questions themselves generate alternative solutions.

5. We evaluate and verify the chosen solution. Here the queen is mathematics. We will have to compare according to criteria, parameters, technical specifications, degree of risk, size of resources, etc.

Quick decisions are not correct.
Sophocles, poet and playwright

He who thinks too much does little.
Johann Friedrich Schiller, poet and playwright

6. Introducing the Consequences the decision we made. The most interesting point, in my opinion. It already depends on the power of our imagination. Under no circumstances should you consult with relatives, friends and neighbors at this stage. For them, you must always remain as you are. They will advise you...

7. Required we feel ourselves and our own intuition. We must try to choose the right option and make the right decision, that is, what we feel is right.

8. We make a decision and we are not afraid that we made the wrong choice. We also need mistakes, although not in large quantities. Mistakes are experiences that will subsequently allow us to quickly evaluate the decision we make.

9. Once you have made a decision, you need to understand that will have to act in accordance with it.

I hear your indignant remarks: And all this can be done in a minute? Well, at first, it may not be possible to make it in a minute, but over time our action thought process will be brought to automaticity, and making decisions will become much easier than now. Well, then, no one is stopping you from developing your own decision-making methodology, I hope that you will definitely share it with us.

Make a decision in 1 minute

You can do a lot in one minute. You can just dream or regret. You can say “I quit,” you can say something important, or you can let something important happen through your silence. You can decide who you want to live with, what you want to do, whether you like doing it. In one minute you can determine your most important desire and understand why life is worth living. In one minute you can read this article and find out how to make a decision.

Find those things, those things, those tasks to start with that you can decide on in just 60 seconds. In just one minute of our time. Value your time and don’t do things that will make you regret the missed opportunities later. Let's act quickly!

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When people share the worst decisions they have made in their lives, they often cite the fact that the choice was made in a fit of instinctive emotions: passion, fear, greed.

Our life would be completely different if Ctrl+Z operated in life, which would cancel decisions made.

But we are not slaves to our mood. Instinctive emotions tend to dull or disappear altogether. Therefore, folk wisdom recommends that when you need to make an important decision, it is better to go to bed. Good advice, By the way. It wouldn't hurt to take note! Although for many decisions, sleep alone is not enough. A special strategy is needed.

One of the effective tools that we would like to offer you is strategy for success at work and in life from Susie Welch(Suzy Welch) - former editor-in-chief of the Harvard Business Review, popular author, television commentator and journalist. It is called 10/10/10 and involves making decisions through the prism of three different time frames:

• How will you feel about it 10 minutes later?
• How will you feel about this decision 10 months from now?
• What will your reaction be to this in 10 years?

By focusing our attention on these deadlines, we distance ourselves some distance from the problem of making an important decision.

Now let's look at the effect of this rule using an example.

Situation: Veronica has a boyfriend, Kirill. They have been dating for 9 months, but their relationship can hardly be called ideal. Veronica claims that Kirill is a wonderful person, and in many ways he is exactly what she has been looking for throughout her life. However, she is very worried that their relationship is not moving forward. She is 30, she wants a family and... She doesn’t have an endless amount of time to develop her relationship with Kirill, who is approaching 40. During these 9 months, she never met Kirill’s daughter from her first marriage, and the cherished “I love you” was never heard in their couple from either side.

The divorce from my wife was terrible. After this, Kirill decided to avoid serious relationships. Moreover, he keeps his daughter out of his personal life. Veronica understands that he is hurt, but she is also offended that such an important part of her loved one’s life is closed to her.

Veronica knows that Kirill does not like to rush into making decisions. But should she then take the step herself and say “I love you” first?

The girl was advised to use the 10/10/10 rule, and this is what came out of it. Veronica was asked to imagine that right now she had to decide whether she would confess her love to Kirill over the weekend or not.

Question 1: How will you feel about this decision 10 minutes later?

Answer:“I think I would be worried, but at the same time proud of myself for taking a risk and saying it first.”

Question 2: How would you feel about your decision if 10 months had passed?

Answer:“I don’t think I’ll regret it 10 months from now. No, I will not. I sincerely want everything to work out. Those who don’t take risks don’t drink champagne!”

Question 3: How will you feel about your decision 10 years later?

Answer:“No matter how Kirill reacts, in 10 years the decision to confess your love first is unlikely to matter. By this time, either we will be happy together, or I will be in a relationship with someone else."

Note that the 10/10/10 rule works! As a result we have quite a simple solution:

Veronica must take the lead. She will be proud of herself if she does this, and sincerely believes that she will not regret what she did, even if nothing works out with Kirill in the end. But without consciously analyzing the situation according to the 10/10/10 rule, making an important decision seemed extremely difficult to her. Short-term emotions—fear, nervousness, and fear of rejection—were distracting and limiting factors.

What happened to Veronica after that, you are probably wondering. She still said “I love you” first. In addition, she tried to do everything to change the situation and stop feeling in limbo. Kirill did not confess his love to her. But progress was evident: he became closer to Veronica. The girl believes that he loves her, that he just needs a little more time to overcome his own and admit that the feelings are reciprocated. In her opinion, the chances that they will be together reach 80%.

Eventually

The 10/10/10 rule helps you win the emotional game. The feelings that you are experiencing now, at this moment, seem intense and sharp, and the future, on the contrary, is vague. Therefore, emotions experienced in the present are always in the foreground.

The 10/10/10 strategy forces you to change your perspective: consider a moment in the future (for example, 10 months from now) from the same point that you are looking at in the present.

This technique puts your short-term emotions into perspective. This is not to say that you should ignore them. Often they even help you get what you want in a given situation. But you shouldn't let your emotions get the better of you.

It is necessary to remember the contrast of emotions not only in life, but also at work. For example, if you deliberately avoid having a serious conversation with your boss, you are allowing your emotions to get the better of you. If you imagine the possibility of having a conversation, then after 10 minutes you will be just as nervous, but after 10 months, will you be glad that you decided to have this conversation? Will you breathe a sigh of relief? Or will you feel proud?

What if you want to reward the work of a great employee and are going to offer him a promotion: will you doubt the correctness of your decision after 10 minutes, will you regret what you did 10 months later (in case other employees feel left out), and will it Does the promotion make any difference to your business 10 years from now?

As you can see, short-term emotions are not always harmful. The 10/10/10 rule suggests that looking at emotions in the long term is not the only correct way. It only proves that the short-term feelings you experience cannot be at the head of the table when you make important and responsible decisions.

A person’s entire life consists of a series of decisions made – big and small. The whole future life depends on some of them. Many people have difficulty when faced with making a choice. Let's figure out how to make the decision-making process more effective, and what methods can be used to do this.

Every day life presents us with a choice, presenting us with various tasks. What to cook for breakfast? What suit to wear to work? Which phone should I buy? Where to go on vacation during your vacation? Should I agree to the marriage proposal or wait? Should I quit my job or stay? There are decisions that don’t really affect anything, but there are those that radically change your life.

All people behave differently when making decisions. There is a category of people who are called “don’t care”. They are never tormented by choice, because they give preference to the first or simplest option. They put on the clothes that are the first to be taken out of the closet, go on a date with the first person to invite them, take the job that is easiest to get, etc. These people believe that life itself will put everything in its place, so they don’t It's worth the effort.

Another category of people is guided by intuition when making important decisions. These individuals always listen to their inner voice and do not doubt the correctness of the decisions made. However, there are not very many such people.

The majority of people are individuals who have difficulty making choices. They suffer, doubt, weigh every option, but still cannot make a final decision. And when the decision is made, they continue to doubt its correctness. If you belong to the category of such people and do not know how to make a decision when in doubt, then it will be useful for you to learn several methods that make the selection process easier.

Method 1. “Descartes Square”

The essence of the method is to consider the problem facing you from four different angles. To do this, you need to ask yourself 4 questions. Take a piece of paper and divide it into four parts in the form of a square. Write one of the questions in each part:

1. What good will I get if I fulfill my plan?
2. What good will I get if I refuse to fulfill my plans?
3. What harm will I get if I fulfill my plan?
4. What harm will I get if I refuse to fulfill my plans?

Think and write the answer to the question in each square. By listing all the pros and cons of implementing your plan and refusing to implement it, you can understand which decision is best for you to make.

If you don’t know what to do in a particular situation and stop doubting, tell the two closest people about the problem and ask them for advice. Folk wisdom says that every person has his own guardian angel who protects and guides him on the right path. The Guardian Angel gives clues through intuition. If a person’s intuition is poorly developed, then an angel can convey a hint through loved one. Hence the recommendation to ask for advice from the two closest people.

Method 3. “Expanding the framework”

The problem with most people is that they force themselves into narrow boundaries and do not see alternatives. They tend to get caught up in the “Yes” and “No” options, not realizing that there are other choices. Let's say you want to take out a car loan. You see only two choices - take a car on credit or continue driving public transport.

By expanding your choice, you will see alternative options. For example: you can find a cheaper car and buy it no longer on credit; you can refuse the loan and start saving money to buy a car; you can rent a house closer to work and avoid using public transport; you can even change your job by getting a job in another company located close to your home; You can negotiate with one of your colleagues to give you a ride to work in his car for a certain fee. As you can see, there can be many options, the main thing is to see them.

Method 4. “Disappearance of options”

Imagine that the option you like best is not available. For example, the company you want to get a job with has ceased to exist. Think about what to do in this case. By thinking in this vein, you will discover others, no less. interesting options relatively new job, which you haven’t seen before because you were fixated on one.

Method 5. “Glass of water”

The author of this technique is the American parapsychologist Jose Silva, founder of the Silva Method, author of books on unconventional psychology. He suggests the following: in the evening before going to bed, pour clean, unboiled water into a glass. Take the glass with both hands, close your eyes, focus on the problem that worries you and clearly formulate the question that requires a decision. Then, slowly, drink half the glass, mentally repeating something like this: “This is all I need to make the right decision.”

Place a glass with the remaining water near your bed and go to bed. First thing in the morning after waking up, drink some water and thank your subconscious for the right decision. The solution may come immediately after waking up or during the day. People who have tried this technique claim that it works.

Method 6. “Delay”

If you can't make a choice and make a decision, give yourself a break. When you're excited and your brain is overloaded with information, it's very difficult to make the right choices. Remember how often you made the wrong decision in a hurry and then regretted it? To prevent this from happening, take a break, calm down, and once again carefully analyze the strengths and weak sides of your choice. There are not many situations in life that require instant decision making, so don’t be afraid to put it off for a while.

Method 7. “Own the information”

Before making a choice, try to find out as much information as possible about the option you are going to choose. When it comes to purchasing a product, read reviews about it on the Internet. When deciding to change jobs, learn everything about the position you will be taking and the people who worked there before you. If possible, track down these people to get first-hand information. You understand that the employer may not tell you about all the difficulties that await you, and a person who has already worked in this company before is unlikely to withhold such information.

How the decision is more important you accept, the more responsible your approach to finding the necessary information should be. This way you will protect yourself from deception and prepare for possible difficulties.

Method 8. “Drop your emotions”

Emotions greatly interfere with making the right decision because they distort the vision of the situation. An emotionally agitated person is unable to think sensibly. Therefore, make it a rule: never make decisions while at the peak of emotions. Anger, fear, malice, as well as intense joy and euphoria are bad advisers in decision making.

If you are overcome by emotions, do not make any choice. Give yourself time to cool down, and then take a sober look at the situation. This way you will protect yourself from rash actions and their consequences.

How to get rid of emotions?

Even when you realize that emotions are preventing you from making the right choices, you can't always get rid of them. To make this process easier, use simple methods.

10/10/10

This method allows you to put aside immediate impulses and look at the situation in the long term. The essence of the method is to ask yourself three questions before making a decision:

• How will I feel about my choice in 10 minutes?
• How will I feel about my choice in 10 months?
• How will I feel about my choice in 10 years?

Let's say you want to take out an expensive car on credit. You apply for a loan and get behind the wheel of a brand new car. What will you think 10 minutes after the purchase? You will probably be euphoric, rejoicing at your purchase. But after 10 months, the joy will subside, and you will feel the full weight of the credit burden and will be faced with the need to limit yourself in many things. And in 10 years, when you finally pay off your debts, you will see that your car is old and requires repairs, or maybe you are so tired of it that you want to sell it.

The 10/10/10 method can be used in any situation. It is great for helping to calm emotions and look at long-term consequences your choice, so as not to regret what you did later.

Stay in the dark

A good way to calm your emotions is to simply be in the dark. Psychologists have proven that twilight or complete darkness calms a person and helps put his thoughts in order. Please note that jewelry stores are always brightly lit. Do you think this was done so that gold and precious stones would play and shimmer better in the rays of light? Not just for this. Marketing experts know that bright lights are more likely to make people make impulse purchases.

If you need to calm your emotions in order to make the right decision, sit for a while in a dim or dark room and reconsider the consequences of your choice.

Breathe deeply

Another simple but effective method that helps in the fight against emotions is deep breathing. Take 10 slow, deep breaths in and out, and then ask yourself again: “Am I doing the right thing?”

Think about what you would advise a friend

To reduce emotions and cool down the ardor, it is useful to look at the situation from the outside. Imagine that it is not you who are faced with the need to make a decision, but your friend. What would you advise him to do in this situation?

Many people notice this peculiarity in themselves: they give practical and rational advice to their friends, but when they find themselves in similar situations, they behave extremely stupidly. This happens because, looking at the problem from the outside, we see only the most essential. And when we ourselves find ourselves in the middle of a problem, a lot of little things come up that we attach too much importance to.

The ability to abstract yourself and look at a situation with an unbiased mind gives a significant advantage when it comes to making the right choice.

Method 9. “Following life priorities”

Every person has their own life values, rules and priorities that influence his choice. Always stick to these values ​​and you can't go wrong. For example, you are offered a choice of two positions: one of them is prestigious and highly paid, but requires a lot of dedication from you; the second is less prestigious and does not have such a high salary, but you don’t have to work overtime and you have a lot of free time. Which one to choose?

To make decisions without doubt and stress, be guided by your life priorities. If your family comes first, then choose a position that is not so prestigious and paid, but will not steal your personal time, which you can devote to loved ones. If you dream of building a career, give preference to a prestigious and highly paid position that will help you move up the career ladder.

Method 10. “Intuition”

Intuition is a wonderful tool that not everyone knows how to use. She can tell you a way out if rational methods did not bring the desired result. And it often happens like this: you make a choice based on logic and rationality, and this choice seems to you the most correct, but your inner voice stubbornly protests against it. Maybe we should listen to him?

Develop intuition, and it will become an excellent assistant in different situations, but do not overestimate its role and do not forget about reason and logic.

If you find yourself in a situation of choice, use any of the listed methods, or better yet, use several at once. Over time, you will understand which method suits you best and will be able to use it in a variety of life situations. By learning to make decisions, you will significantly improve the quality of your life.

What should you do if you are a leader and you are faced with a difficult choice? Remember, as in a fairy tale: execution cannot be pardoned, dismissal cannot be left, and it is unclear where to put a comma. In this article we will talk about several ways to make the right decision. This will help not only businessmen, but also ordinary people who find themselves in a difficult situation.

If you are trapped

Usually, making a difficult decision is necessary in a difficult life situation. Stress affects a person in different ways: some withdraw into themselves, some worry and don’t sleep at night, some become hysterical and take it out on loved ones. One thing remains unchanged: a person seems to fall into the trap of his own psyche, often he is not able to make a choice on his own and acts under the influence of emotions or close circle. Time shows that impulsive and ill-considered decisions are ineffective and can ruin your business, your career, your relationships, in the end. Remember: all serious decisions are made with a cool head. Therefore, before you put into practice the methods described below, do this: turn off your heart and turn on your head. We'll show you how.

There are several ways to pacify emotions:

• short term - breathe correctly. Take 10 deep, slow breaths - this will help you calm down;
• medium-term - imagine that your friend finds himself in such a situation and asks you for advice. What will you tell him? Surely throw away all emotions and try to look at the situation detachedly, objectively. So try it;
• long-term - take a time out. Just let the situation go for a while, do other things, and come back to it after a week or month. This way you will kill two birds with one stone: firstly, you will cut off impulsive decisions and will not cut from the shoulder. And secondly, the right solution it will ripen in your head like a ripe fruit - you just need to give it time.

Now that emotions no longer influence your choices, let's talk about eight reliable methods for making decisions.

1. Pros and cons method

Use the good old method: take a sheet of paper and a pen, draw the sheet in half. In the left column write all the advantages of the chosen solution, in the right column - respectively, the disadvantages. Don't limit yourself to just a few items: there should be 15-20 items on the list. Then calculate what will be more. Profit!

The essence of the methoda: even if you endlessly scroll through the pros and cons in your head, full picture you're unlikely to see it. Psychologists advise making written lists: this helps to organize the accumulated information, visually see the relationship between pros and cons, and draw a conclusion based on pure mathematics. Why not?

2. Create habits

This method is suitable if it is difficult for you to make a choice in everyday matters. For example, to increase the salary of a new employee, or if it’s not worth it yet, put it on the website or another company. What to eat for dinner, in the end, French fries or fish with vegetables. A difficult decision, of course, but still not a matter of life and death. In this case, it is useful to consciously create habits for yourself and follow them in the future. For example, introduce an iron rule: increase employee salaries only after six months of working in your company. Buying office supplies exclusively from Skrepka is cheaper. Eating light and healthy dishes for dinner will soon thank you. Well, with the call back you get the idea, yes.

The essence of the method: following your habits, you will make simple decisions automatically, saving yourself from unnecessary thoughts, without wasting precious time on nonsense. But then, when you need to make a truly responsible and important choice, you will be fully armed.

3. “If-then” method

This method is suitable for resolving current problems in business, team, and personal life. For example, your employee speaks impolitely to customers and does not respond to comments. Question: should I fire him immediately or try to re-educate him? Try using the “if-then” technique. Tell yourself: if he again mistreats a client, you will deprive him of his bonus. If the incident happens again, fire me.

The essence of the method:as in the first case, this is the creation of conditional boundaries within which you will act. The burden will immediately be lifted from the soul, and life will become much easier. And most importantly, you don’t have to waste time thinking and thinking about the fate of a careless employee.

It was invented by the famous American journalist Susie Welch. The rule is: before you make a difficult decision, stop and answer three questions:

• what will you think about it 10 minutes later;
• How will you feel about your choice in 10 months;
• What will you say in 10 years?

Let's give an example. Let's take a young man who works as a manager, doesn't like his job, but puts up with it because he needs money. He dreams of quitting his job, taking out a loan and opening his own business - a small pub, but at the same time he is desperately afraid of going broke and losing everything he has. In general, a classic case when a bird in the hand is preferred to a pie in the sky.

It’s difficult for our hero to take the first step - quit his hated job. Let's say he does this. In ten minutes he is unlikely to have time to regret his decision. In 10 months, he will already have time to rent the premises, equip the pub and receive clients. And if it doesn’t work out - he’ll find a job as a manager anyway - so what’s there to regret? Well, in 10 years, this choice is unlikely to have any significance at all: either the business will continue, or our hero will work in another place - one of two things. It turns out that if you follow the 10/10/10 rule, making a decision no longer becomes so challenging task, because a person clearly understands what awaits him in the future.

The essence of the method: when making a difficult decision, we are usually overwhelmed by emotions: fear, anxiety, or vice versa, joy and excitement. A person feels it right here and now; feelings obscure the prospects for the future. Remember, as in Yesenin: “You can’t see a face face to face, a big one is seen at a distance.” As long as the future seems foggy and vague, the choice of solution will be postponed again and again. By making concrete plans, presenting his emotions in detail, a person rationalizes the problem and stops being afraid of the unknown - because it becomes simple and understandable.

Read also: Three real stories.

5. Solve within 15 minutes

Paradoxical as it may seem, the most important, strategic decisions should be made in 15 minutes. A familiar situation: a company has a serious problem that requires immediate action, but the point is that no one knows the right solution. For example, competitors have done something nasty, and it is not clear what to do: respond in kind or get out of the situation with dignity. Or the crisis has hit your company, and you are confused: to move to a less prestigious place or to lay off a dozen employees. How can you make the right choice, and is there even one? And you begin to procrastinate, unable to make a decision, in the hope that everything will resolve itself.

If you don’t know which solution is correct, just imagine that there is no correct answer to this life problem. Give yourself 15 minutes and make any, absolutely any, decision. Yes, at first glance this may seem crazy. What about planning, and what about testing and verifying solutions? Ok, ok, if you can quickly and with a minimum of investment check the correctness of the solution, check it. If this requires months of time and millions of rubles, it is better to abandon this idea and immediately record the time.

The essence of the method: Needless to say, if you waste time, nothing gets solved: crises don’t go away, rental prices don’t go down, and competitors become even sharper. One unmade decision leads to others, the business sags and becomes ineffective. As they say, it is better to do than to regret, than not to do and regret.

6. Don't limit yourself to narrow boundaries

The same thing we wrote about at the beginning. Execute or pardon, buy a car or not, expand or wait for better times. One of two things, hit or miss, oh, it was not! But who said that a problem has only two solutions? Get out of the narrow framework, try to look at the situation more broadly. It is not necessary to organize a large-scale expansion of production - it is enough to launch a couple of new positions. Instead of an expensive car, you can purchase a more modest option and apply disciplinary measures to the offending employee for the first time.

The essence of the method: when there are only two solution options, there is a greater chance of choosing the right decision, and many deliberately simplify their lives by dividing the situation into yes and no, black and white. But life is much more diverse: don’t be afraid to look it in the eye and accept all possible options. The solution may be a compromise, a rejection of both extremes in favor of a third, completely unexpected solution, or a successful combination of two options. This often happens when the owner of a small business cannot decide what to do: sit on the phone, deliver orders, or engage only in management activities. Start combining - and then you will see what works best. This will be the optimal solution to the problem.