Statuses about gossip. Why do people gossip and how to protect yourself from gossip? What should I do if they started a rumor about me?

Answer: As I understand, you study at school, and school is a priori a hotbed of gossip. Even if you don’t know if they are talking about you, be sure that they are talking about you. It’s good if this is a harmless discussion of the style of a skirt, but there are worse gossips... If you have become an object of ridicule, let’s figure out what the reason is and how to stop it.

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If you are not like everyone else, this may be a reason for ridicule, but this does not mean that you immediately need to blend in with the gray mass - only extraordinary people achieve success. Remain yourself, and don’t pay attention to ridicule - you will grow up and show everyone. Another reason for gossip can be your behavior. Reputation is very important, and one should behave decently in any situation. If you wear short skirts and wear much brighter makeup than Vivienne from Pretty Woman, then gossip is a consequence of your indiscretion. Although, how you look and what to wear is your own business. But still, watch your behavior and don’t give gossipers any more reasons, but now act like this:

Don't make scandals in public

There is no need to attack the offender, throw a tantrum and, foaming at the mouth, breaking into a squeal, shout that he (s) is so-and-so, it’s all not true, and you are an angel with a halo on your head. So you will take the position of a victim, but you will not receive the expected pity and support. People will think that if you react this way, then the gossip is not unfounded, and you are just mad that you were exposed.

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Talk calmly

Yes, it sounds like a paradox, but you will have to talk to the person who is spreading rumors about you, and this must be done in front of everyone. I repeat - talk, calmly, judiciously, without emotions. If you are 100% sure who the original source of the rumors is, go for it. If not, first make sure not to look stupid, and only then go up and calmly ask why he (s) is doing this, and then also calmly tell him that this is not true, turn around and leave. Don’t push for pity, don’t make excuses and don’t comment in any way - she reported and left. All.

Ignore gossip

The best way to infuriate a gossip is to not react to his attacks. They expect you to react, and the longer and more actively you react, the more you will be bullied. Don't give gossipers food for discussion, and they themselves will fall silent.

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Make it a joke

Personally, I don’t favor this method, but you can try. Like, the one who knows how to laugh at himself owns the world. I wouldn't recommend making humor about this. Yes, gossipers will also stop laughing at you and telling you stupid things, but, in my opinion, your pride will suffer. If you are in pain and unpleasant, why should you suddenly laugh? In general, decide for yourself whether this option suits you or not.

But sometimes, in the workplace of the average modern office, intrigues are woven more sophisticated than in the nooks and crannies of medieval castles. At least in those days, a person spreading false stories could be challenged to a fair fight.

There are professions in which it is quite easy to cross the fine line between work and actual rumors (or gossip). For example, scientists have studied the tendency to gossip in people of different professions. And it turned out that those at risk are specialists who communicate a lot with people: sociologists, teachers, journalists, doctors, psychologists.

It happens that, forgetting about medical confidentiality, a doctor shares with a colleague: “Did you see a woman leaving my office? Such a famous person, but do you know what problems she has?” Or a journalist publishes information he heard from another person without checking it.

Sociologists believe that the majority of people are most interested in information about the shortcomings and problems of other people (for example, their dependence on alcohol, drugs); conflicts and scandals, and especially “highlights” from personal and intimate life (meetings, weddings, divorces, infidelity). But it is curious that people gossip about famous people much less than about a work colleague or former classmate.

Why do people gossip?

Rumors affect more people, but gossip only affects a few. Rumors are abstract and emotional, while gossip is more personalized, more informative and full of details. Rumors are often unreliable, and gossip carries information, untrue or true, verified or not, similar to what may happen.

Whatever gossip may be, it carries scientifically certain psychological functions, satisfying the relevant needs of society.

For example, it is important integration function . The exchange of gossip indicates a certain similarity in the hierarchical values, needs or characters of the communicating people. A kind of signal: “We are of the same blood - you and I; I'm just like you; I am mine! Teenage girls gossip about a new classmate, and after a while she herself is already whispering about someone in this group.

Another important function of gossip is creating a feeling of security . After all, any dissimilarity causes anxiety and fear in society. So, in a team where it is generally accepted that “everyone cheats, but not everyone is caught,” an example of a happy family will cause surprise, indignation, even condemnation and, finally, slander.

Nina, 35 years old: “My employees like to get together over tea and coffee and gossip. I joined them quite rarely, because I believed that there were more important things to do than empty daily chatter. After a while, my colleagues stopped inviting me to “tea parties” and even to more important events. When I appeared, they fell silent mid-sentence, and over time I accidentally heard that they had already begun to gossip about me, and quite cruelly.”

Gossip also carries information-cognitive function . This looks like a special appendix to official information. What a person talks about himself (in a circle of friends or in an interview with a popular magazine) is one thing, but gossip speaks of something hidden, so to speak. back side medals. Sometimes gossip, passing from mouth to mouth, ends up on the pages of tabloid publications, supposedly acquiring a more reliable appearance.

Entertainment and gaming function . Unlike rumors, which are conveyed with a serious air, gossip contains a grain of jokes, irony, and play. As we see, our contemporary people simply need to satisfy their emotional hunger with the help of subjective information with unusual and humorous “highlights”, which “they don’t talk about on TV.”

Tactical function . Gossip is often used for a specific tactical purpose. Every morning before the planning meeting, the department manager would friendly “share” with her management the news about her junior colleague: “She doesn’t do her job, she’s lazy, and she does God knows what during off-hours...”

Of course, after such a verbal attack, management was no longer so kind to the subordinate. “Earphones” brought very real benefits. After all, once upon a time the gossiper herself fell under the hot hand of her superiors and was criticized for incompetence, and in order to divert attention from herself, she has since regularly and purposefully “drained negativity” onto another person.

So this woman “neutralized” her younger and more talented colleague. As a rule, with the help of gossip, by humiliating another person, the gossiper tries to increase his authority and sense of his own advantage.

People prone to gossip are people with a large number of personal problems and complexes who, instead of working on themselves and getting rid of their own shortcomings, look for them in others.

Gossip can be used not only against a specific person, it is a powerful weapon in the fight different groups, For example, political .

For example, the almost annual rumors about swine flu, Spanish flu and pneumonic plague, which spread incredible panic among Ukrainians, are also obviously needed by someone, because they spread with incredible speed and in almost all directions (among people, through the media and so on.).

Projection-compensatory function . Any gossip is based on fictitious information, and characterizes the one who spreads it much more than the person being talked about. Psychoanalysts believe that both the characteristics of the gossipers are projected onto the object of gossip - their likes, dislikes, and feelings repressed from their consciousness. Sometimes, with the help of gossip, a person realizes his unfulfilled desires.

The man complained in a friendly manner to his long-time acquaintance about some problems with his young wife. She listened to him, nodded her head sympathetically, and gave advice on family life. And soon complete strangers knew all this in piquant detail.

Own family life The “friend” couldn’t be called particularly happy, so she listened to her colleague with interest, subconsciously rejoicing: “Yeah, not everything is as good with them as it seems at first glance. People have worse problems than I do.”

Trying to divert attention from her unsuccessful and insipid life, she told others about the problems of someone else’s family, adding new nuances from herself that her imagination suggested. Because, as you know, “an intelligent woman does not repeat gossip, she invents it herself.”

Function social control . Gossip is a component of public opinion. It can be a kind of control on the part of ordinary people about the life and behavior of the elite. Some politicians and famous people behave in such a way that “no one will think anything bad.”

But, as the writer Jonathan Swift noted, “conspiracies formed by small minds against a man who has come into the world with glory only attest to the genius of that man.”

If a person spends so much energy and time talking about other people, perhaps his own life is completely uninteresting. “Living” the lives of other people in conversations, the gossiper no longer has time to live his own.

Gossip is born where drab everyday life and dissatisfaction reign. own life, often fear, often greed, envy, sometimes even vindictiveness.

And gossip is not as innocent as it seems at first glance. Neurotic disorders, heart attacks, strokes, divorces and even suicides - such consequences can be caused by evil tongues.

Imagine, almost half of lovers or married couples break up for this reason. Interesting fact: Contrary to popular belief, the more dangerous gossips are not women, but men. William Shakespeare brilliantly described the tactics of the evil gossip Iago in Othello. Even schoolchildren know how tragic the ending of this story is.

Of course, no one wants to become a defenseless target for gossip. But, unfortunately, no one is immune from this. Even if you are not a popular movie star or a famous politician, all sorts of gossip may appear about you. How to react or counteract them? Here are some simple tips.

Try to be less likely to be around people who like to gossip. Change the topic of conversation, try to offer an alternative one. After all, it is very rightly noted: whoever gossips with you, gossips about you.

Don't talk about other people behind their backs. And if you do, try to see the positive and bright sides in them.

Mature, self-sufficient, altruistic, non-envious and wise individuals do not gossip..

Remember that silence at all times and among all peoples was considered gold.

Do not share information that is important to you with people you don’t know. No one knows to whom your “friend” from a social network or a new acquaintance at a random party will tell your story. If you feel overwhelmed, tell a trusted friend about it or contact a qualified psychotherapist.

If gossip is being spread about you, try to treat it philosophically, even with humor. For example, like the famous American writer Mark Twain, when he was informed of his death: “Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated.”

Don't try to justify yourself and grab the gossiper by the collar. Gossip is a kind of play that requires at least two to play. If you start beating yourself in the chest and shouting that “this is not true!”, then most likely others will think that you have a reason to worry so much.

Your overly emotional reaction may, on the contrary, fuel curiosity about false information. Composer Nikita Bogoslovsky joked about this: “Don’t believe rumors until they are officially refuted.” It’s interesting that people gossip the least about those who sincerely communicate with others and often make irony about themselves. Such people, one step ahead of potential gossipers, voice their own funny story About Me.

However, one smart and educated woman told me: when a person is young, beautiful, happy and successful, there will always be gossip behind his back.

How to respond to gossip

1. Don't panic and try not to make the situation worse. Don't forget that the gossiper is counting on manipulating you. If you show a strong emotional reaction, then the goal has been achieved. Remember, all people crave spectacle, and if you let them know that there will be no show, they will quickly lose interest in you. Remaining silent and not reacting to gossip is the most The best way stop their further distribution.

2. If you are the kind of person who cannot remain silent, then it is better to talk to the gossiper in front of witnesses. When speaking, act calmly and confidently, and if you can, be cheerful. The main thing is not to make excuses, but try to ask more questions. For example, “I’m very interested, tell me in more detail what exactly you had in mind.” Such a conversation convinces the interlocutor that his trick failed, and he understands that he will not be able to manipulate you.

3. Rumors will appear again if you do not find out the reasons for their occurrence. To prevent gossip and rumors from appearing, do not tell others stories from your life. As you know, what two people know, everyone knows. When the need arises to tell the details of your personal life, sometimes it is better to keep a diary or talk to a psychologist.

Protection according to all rules

It is impossible to ensure that people do not gossip about you - it simply does not depend on you. It happens that a person, trying to stop gossip, stops telling anything about his life. As a result, conversations continue, only now they are not based on real events, but on absurd inventions, the creativity of which a science fiction writer could envy.

There's no need to make excuses , telling everyone that what was said is not true. Practice shows: the more a person concentrates on gossip about himself, the more vulnerability he shows, the more negative things they say about him behind his back. Therefore, the best thing to do is to pay less attention to chatter.

Have pity on the gossiper. A person can have many reasons for saying nasty things about you. This is a desire to take revenge for something, and envy, and low self-esteem - in this case, by saying nasty things about you, he is trying to elevate himself - and simply a lack of bright events in life. Be that as it may, all this indicates inferiority, that the person is unhappy. This is worthy of pity, not anger or resentment.

Work with self-esteem. It is not necessary to make it too high, the main thing is that it is more stable. Working with a psychologist will help you understand and evaluate yourself. If you can’t go to him, turn to your loved ones, family, and friends. To those whose opinion is important to you and who treats you favorably. Ask them to talk about your strengths and weaknesses. Just make yourself a promise not to be offended by anything - you are trying to understand yourself.

Use your imagination. This is a simple but incredibly effective technique. Mentally build a mirror wall around yourself and wish that everything that spiteful critics say about you will be reflected and returned to them. Works. Verified.

When is it good to gossip?

"There's no doubt that gossip is bad, but we found evidence that it plays an important role in social policing," says social psychologist Robb Wheeler, co-author of the study published in January in the journal Personality and Social Psychology.

Gossip may have therapeutic effects, study finds. The volunteers' heart rates increased when they saw someone misbehaving, but they felt very good when they were able to convey information by "warning" others.

The subtext of any gossip is the version that “we are better than them!” This inspires, gives a feeling of superiority - albeit illusory. Gossip entertains, unites, provides mutual support, and even lifts people out of depression. However, everything is good in moderation, because in the end gossipers risk being left alone .

As for feeling superior, the only person you can and should compare yourself to is yourself - a week, a month, a year ago. If you have become better at anything during this time, congratulations. And comparing yourself with others is an empty and thankless task. Let the examples of others encourage and inspire you, rather than make you want to gossip.

And remember: if someone is whispering behind your back, it means that you are in front!

statuses for social networks about envy, gossipers and envious people.
Envious people are weak-spirited people who can’t think of anything better than slandering a person in order to seem to lower his authority; slander spreads and gossip is born.

They never discuss or envy bad things. They envy the best, discuss the best.

It is better to be the center of attention, having a scandalous reputation, than to be in a primitive herd of judges.

Why do people believe rumors instead of asking everything and finding out the truth.

Let us enjoy our lot without resorting to comparisons - the one who is tormented by the sight of greater happiness will never be happy... When it occurs to you how many people are walking ahead of you, think how many of them are following behind. Seneca

There are so many people around me who know about my life that I want to come up and ask: “Well, what, how am I doing there?!”

They say that gossipers, by judging a person, take away his sins. So I can live in peace...

A handful of facts can ruin the best gossip.

Most precious gossips, gossips and envious people! Open your mouth at the level of your fly, and not in my direction!!

If someone judges you... or collects gossip, he simply suffers from a complex! He is worse than you and he knows it! Don't give him honor, don't react to the chatter! Even if he cracks from anger, anyone who is smart will understand...

If gossip bothers you, there is no need to be upset. Know that worms choose only the best fruits!

An envious person says not what is, but what can cause harm. — Publilius Syrus

Itching and gossiping is an anthropological inevitability of all women.

No matter how boring your life is, don’t meddle in someone else’s...

When the vessel is empty, any sound echoes in it. This is how gossip resonates in empty people.

Whoever gossips with you gossips about you.

Unfrank people and losers gossip a lot. Everyone is gossiping a little.

You can't get enough muzzles for everyone yapping behind your back, but sometimes a thrown bone is enough for them to chew each other...

I don’t know if someone who spreads dirty gossip about everyone can be called a “man.” In its quest for popularity, “it” denigrates its acquaintances behind their backs... What a pity, you can’t brand your forehead “A sexless, insignificant schmuck!”

There is no need to draw conclusions about a person until you talk to him in person, because everything you hear is rumors

Some people want to give a grater... scratch their tongue...

I hate people who smile in my face and spread gossip about me behind my back.

And I love it when they gossip about me and talk nonsense. I immediately feel like a showbiz star.

Gossip about me - the new kind sports... compete suckers!

I hate people who try to seem better at the expense of others! Trying to hide their misdeeds and whitewash themselves, they spread gossip about even their closest friends, thereby becoming even lower in the eyes of those who once respected and trusted!

To inflict torment on your envious people is to be in a good mood.

Are you judging? No problem! Continue in the same spirit... Spread your dirty rumors about me, since it’s nice. Just know that your thoughts don’t make me cold or hot.

Gossip – best activity for those who have nothing to do.

I don't care what people say! As I was, as I am and will remain, I don’t need your empty souls, I don’t need your love either. From false words, sometimes ears wither. Cover your sins with your tails, don’t touch mine, I’ll sort it out myself. I think I said everything, rest! I don’t need your friendship...

Gossipers are the lowest people. And punishing them is the same as stooping to their level!

Gossips are very reminiscent of a vacuum cleaner with a torn filter - it seems like it wasn’t that dirty at the entrance, but there’s shit flying in the air... but

It’s better to spit directly in my eyes than into the soul behind my back.

I want to get away from the impudent faces and gossipers, to hide... to lie down on a beach with pebbles and enjoy the cry of the seagulls.

A person who is happy will never wish anyone harm, spread ridiculous rumors, or try to quarrel with someone. Only sick people do this, and unfortunately they are sick in soul and heart.

Eh, girlfriends... Girlfriends... Only pillows can be silent...

The topic of the section: statuses about envy, gossipers and envious people with meaning, funny and instructive about envious people.

There is probably no person who has not become a victim of gossip at least once in his life. How to psychologically protect yourself from them?

Our expert is psychologist Olga Zingman.

Who's under attack?

Everyone reacts differently to gossip about themselves. There are people who even enjoy talking about themselves. Psychologists call this type demonstrative personality. A person of this type craves to be the center of attention at any cost. He believes that since they are talking about him, it means he is worthy of interest. Such people not only do not object to gossip, but sometimes provoke its occurrence by telling something out of the ordinary or even shameful about themselves.

However, most people still worry about slander. Two categories are especially vulnerable. First of all, this pedantic people who get stuck on the negative. Having learned that they are gossiping about him, such a person begins to think about it, cannot switch gears, and torments himself. The result is resentment, anger, aggression - extremely destructive emotions that can also lead to problems with physical health.

The second category is people who are anxious and unsure of themselves. They already have low self-esteem, and gossip deals an additional blow to it. Against the backdrop of slander, such a person would be rejected: “what if people hear all these nasty things about me, believe them and stop communicating?!” Such experiences may well lead to a nervous breakdown.

Building a defense

It is impossible to ensure that people do not gossip about you - it simply does not depend on you. It happens that a person, trying to stop gossip, stops telling anything about his life. And as a result, the conversations continue, only now they are based not on real events, but on absurd inventions, the creativity of which a science fiction writer would envy.

You shouldn’t try to shame the gossiper or arrange a “confrontation” with him. Most likely, this will only lead to a new round of slander. It’s even worse to make excuses by telling everyone that what you said is not true. Practice shows: the more a person concentrates on gossip about himself, the more vulnerability he shows, the more negative things they say about him behind his back. Therefore, the best thing you can do is to pay less attention to the “chatter”. For this:

Have pity on the gossiper. A person can have many reasons for saying nasty things about you. This is a desire to take revenge for something, and envy, and - in this case, by saying nasty things about you, he is trying to elevate himself - and simply a lack of bright events in life. Be that as it may, all this indicates inferiority, that the person is unhappy. This is worthy of pity, not anger or resentment.

Work with self-esteem. It is not necessary to make it tall, the main thing is that it is more stable. Working with a psychologist will help you understand and evaluate yourself. If you can’t go to him, turn to your loved ones, family, and friends. To those whose opinion is important to you and who treats you favorably. Ask them to talk about your strengths and weaknesses. Just make yourself a promise not to be offended by anything - you are trying to understand yourself.

Use psychological techniques. It happens that, despite all efforts, gossip still gets into your head. In such a situation, it will be useful to use this technique. Sit back in a quiet environment and imagine a tower being built around you. Choose the material you like. It could be concrete, wood, thin glass, but in any case this material is magical: it is invulnerable to any blows, even atomic explosion. It also has the same property as police mirrors in detective films: you can see absolutely everything from the inside, but you can’t look into the tower from the outside. Build walls at arm's length; you shouldn't feel cramped in them. You can take those who are near and dear to you into your tower, put your favorite things there - in general, imagine that you feel comfortable and good here. Now imagine the gossipers. They are trying with all their might to penetrate the tower - they make tunnels, send arrows from a bow, throw stones, plant dynamite...

And nothing works out for them - because the tower is impregnable. This is the picture you should imagine every time you hear negative talk about yourself. Over time, you will stop paying attention to them, and life will become more harmonious.

😉 Greetings to everyone who visited the site! Friends, “There are people who tell you about me. But remember that these same people are telling me about you.” This is gossip. Let's not be part of the gossip. How to respond to gossip?

What is gossip

How nice it is sometimes to just chat with friends or “wash the bones” of mutual friends. In a team, talk about colleagues. But in the same way, others gossip about us, and this is already unpleasant. Therefore, you need to put yourself in the shoes of the person being discussed.

I admit that I, too, am a sinner, and I am no exception. But I'm growing up, becoming wiser, relying on life experience, I make fewer mistakes. Together with you I am engaged in self-development. Today we’ll talk about what gossip is and how to respond to it.

Gossip is bad, even if it is PR for a famous person. Gossip is always negative, no matter who the victim is. “Gossip” comes from the word “to weave,” but you cannot weave the truth.

Gossip is a rumor about someone or something, usually based on inaccurate or deliberately false, deliberately fabricated information. Synonyms: gossip, rumor, speculation.

Very often, you yourself, unwittingly, become a distributor of rumors about yourself. And then these rumors go further, acquiring new “details”.

Why do they gossip? How to explain this? People are accustomed to being interested in each other, sharing joys and sorrows. Then spiritual revelations begin to be called the latest news from the lives of friends and acquaintances.

When gossiping, people don’t think that by telling a lie or revealing someone’s secret, you can lose trust in yourself forever. A person who spends a lot of time talking about others is living someone else's life without having his own.

Quotes about gossip

• “I have heard so much slander against you that I have no doubt: you are a wonderful person!”
• “At the root of every gossip lies a well-tested immorality.” Oscar Wilde
• “If it’s unpleasant when they talk about you, then it’s even worse when they don’t talk about you at all.” Oscar Wilde
• “Say something nice about someone and no one will hear you. But the whole city will help spread a vile, scandalous rumor.” Harold Robbins
• “There are always people who are in a hurry to spread gossip. Most of them don't even know what we're talking about." Harold Robbins
• “Why should a person have friends if he is not allowed to discuss them openly?” Truman Capote
• “The sad truth is that there is nothing sweeter to a small town resident than gossip.” Jodi Picoult
• “If they gossip about you, it means you are alive and disturbing someone. Do you want to do something important in life? You need to understand that your cause will have both supporters and opponents.”
• “It has been observed that news told in secret spreads much faster than just news.” Yuri Tatarkin
• “Why judge other people? Think about yourself more often. Each sheep will be hung by its tail. What do you care about other ponytails?” St. Matrona Moscow
• “If you say bad things about people, even if you are right, your gut is bad.” Saadi
• “The public prefers to believe bad rumors rather than good ones.” Sarah Bernhardt
• "All the troubles that are yours worst enemy can say nothing to your face. Compared to what your best friends say about you behind your back.” Alfred de Musset
• “A sharp knife won’t hurt you like a lie can hurt mean gossip.” Sebastian Brant

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