New life from January 1. How to start a new life after the New Year: advice from psychologists. Public transport will become more expensive

Usually, advice on how to change your life starts with the fact that you need to get out of your comfort zone (hmm, when did we manage to enter it?!), and then jump with a parachute and go to trip around the world. Agree that, for all their adventurous charm, these recommendations are difficult to implement for an ordinary person, and not for the heirs of Trump or Rothschild. That is, you are suddenly inspired by the idea of ​​​​changing something, and in hidden text they advise you to take up extreme sports, take out a loan or sell your kidney in order to wake up under the stars in a tent somewhere in the Arizona desert, like the hero of the series “ Last Man on the ground". We took a critical look at the advice of experts on how to live well, and from hundreds of ephemeral and banal options, we chose ten that were more or less practical or at least motivating to start the New Year in a positive way.

Try the “1 day – 1 achievement” tactic

Firstly, because you need to learn new things every day, and secondly, because big things are accomplished with small actions. Oh, yes, and thirdly, because laziness in the absence of motivation is the main inhibitor of all productive activities.

Write yourself an “I-will-never-do-this-again” list.

And include in it what time and money were spent on last year, but no positive results appeared. Be it at least bad habits, even “sitting” in the office after hours, even unsuccessful dates on Tinder, which you now don’t even want to remember.

Experience the principle of “this day is like the last”

It sounds a little banal, like the “comfort zone” and the story of going around the world, but sometimes it is this approach to life that makes us perk up a little and move forward in order to change the way of life that does not suit us at all. Imagine, for example, what you would do in 2016 if this was the last year, and then figure out which of your fantasies truly inspire you.

Sign up for dancing

Even if these are classes only once a week, which you will sometimes skip under the pretext of “I don’t want to get off the couch,” it’s not scary. If you are basically indifferent to sports and would rather go to a bar with your girlfriends, then it is still better to start your path to an active lifestyle with dancing. It is possible that you will become so involved that you will then be unstoppable.

Come up with a long-lasting dream

One that will take at least a year, or even three, to implement. Write a book, learn to drive a boat, get an MBA, buy a house and plant a whole flower garden there. It doesn't matter what it is, but what is important is that you are passionate about making that dream a reality step by step.

Plan your life like a business plan

And calculate all the events that should happen in the near future (or you would really like for them to happen): a wedding, a change of job, the purchase of something big and important - exactly in the spirit of a business venture, which implies costs, inevitable concessions , creative efforts and profits in the short term.

Change something about your appearance

Review your photos last year(especially those in which you were tagged by friends in in social networks without asking) and allow yourself a little healthy (we emphasize, healthy!) criticism addressed to you: what would you like to change in your appearance and what image/style should you try? Just be careful so that Kylie Jenner doesn’t suddenly come out...

Divide your social circle into inspirational and depressing people.

Make it a rule to communicate with the latter no more than once a month, and with the former, on the contrary, come up with more reasons for meetings based on your common hobbies or interests. First of all, neutralize your “vampire” interlocutors – those who usually pour out all their problems on you, but do not listen to you personally in response.

Who hasn't dreamed of starting new life since New Year? And so that she will certainly be happy! Congratulations on the eve of the holiday convey this universal desire: “Happy New Year! With new happiness!". But is the dream of a new life possible from the New Year and is it realistic to turn this intention into reality, starting exactly on January 1?

1st of January. Is it a good day to start?

The new calendar year begins on January 1 and is celebrated on the night of this day. Most people do not sleep that night and then sleep until noon. Is it possible to start something new on such a “shortened” day? You can, of course, if you really want to. But most people on this day have only one desire - relax. And the next day, and the next, and so on until the end of the so-called “New Year holidays”, holiday weekends.

Hence the conclusion: if you want to start a new life with the new year, then you need to do this either starting in advance, at least a month or two before the new year, or already from mid-January(after holidays).

Of course, it's better to start early. After all, this is how you can prepare for this very new, wonderful life, lay its “foundation”. As A. Green wrote in his story “ Scarlet Sails": "Miracles must be done with your own hands." The New Year's miracle is no exception.

If people choose souvenirs for loved ones and relatives in advance, starting to think about it already in the month of November, then why not think about starting to prepare a gift for yourself. This gift, called “New Life”, will be the best in New Year!

Active and passive expectation of a miracle

You need to wait for a miracle to happen and believe in miracles, but this faith must be active. Something needs to be done for a miracle to happen!

New, better life This personal responsibility everyone who decided to start it. You shouldn’t wait for someone else to come and give it to you for the New Year.

Precisely because passive expecting a sudden miracle on New Year's Eve (“I’ll lie here on the couch and let miracles happen!”), people often feel disappointed and unhappy in the first days of January: the new year has come, but the old problems remain.

But is it reasonable to think that they could disappear on their own, as if by magic?! Was it really necessary for someone to come and solve all those difficulties that had been accumulating for years and had already turned into a decent “burden on our shoulders”?!

Because of the irrational, but bright and sincere faith on the New Year's miracle, many people who have active desire to start a new life, and decide to start it with the New Year. They know that they will have to create happiness on one's own, but faith in that very miracle helps to start, it increases motivation, strengthens hope and faith in one’s strength.

People who have doubts in their own abilities, some fears, who are not confident enough in themselves and do not believe enough in their success like to start on Monday/the first of the new year. They need external support. They rightly believe that the beginning of the year is best time for change. A certain strength and energy of novelty helps them.

People, confident in themselves and believing in their success, do not wait for a special date or day! They begin to turn their dream into reality immediately after making such a decision, regardless of the time of year or day.

If you have to force starting a new life with the new year, persuading yourself: “Well, it’s definitely necessary from January 1!”, it means, in fact, I don `t want to do this and you need to admit it to yourself. A person who really wants to change his life for the better does it without delay!

A new year and a completely new life can begin for a purposeful and active person any day he wishes.

How to be happy in the new year?

As for happiness, it, being internal state a person is created much faster than a new life is built. To be happy they need be: to feel, to perceive oneself as such and to behave accordingly.

To celebrate the New Year happy, psychologists recommend in advance:

For example, there is a problem - an unloved job. It transforms into a goal - to find a job you like by the New Year.

1. Build relationships with others, resolve all existing conflicts. This is the shortest way to feeling happy on New Year's Eve.

Man is a social being. There are other people in every area of ​​his personal life, so in order to improve his life, he needs to improve his relationships with others. Most conflicts, in fact, are resolved very easily and quickly, with two words: “Sorry!” and “I forgive you!”

1. Improve your relationship with yourself. This point includes all the previous ones, only its direction is not external, but internal. To improve your relationship with yourself, you need to conduct introspection, solve internal problems, and forgive (including yourself!) for everything. Establishing a relationship with yourself is identical to

No wonder they say: “How you celebrate the New Year is how you will spend it.” In order for a happy new life to begin in the new year, you need to feel yourself happy not only on New Year's Eve, but also all subsequent days and nights, during which we must not forget to work on creating a new, wonderful life!

Julia Inamora's article entitled does not quote from the Bible, it is not filled with links to authoritative sources, but it contains thoughts that are useful to any person, including church ministers. I think that the reader himself will evaluate it on its merits.

Do you know when fitness clubs have the greatest concentration of people? square meter? On Mondays and at the beginning of the year. These are the same starters of a new life coming from Monday. And “start with clean slate“January is generally a sacred thing. However, most Monday adherents very soon “merge”, life returns to its usual course. To avoid becoming one of them, the following 8 “reasons” should be taken on the contrary. And do the complete opposite!
After some time, they make another attempt to start over, and over and over again all their attempts to change something in their lives fail. Does this sound familiar to you? Then stop torturing yourself, you won’t succeed anyway. And that's why.

1. You don't know what you want

You understand that you are not satisfied with your life, you know that you want changes, but you don’t know where to start and what measurable result you need. Without a clear goal, you will never force yourself to do anything. Decide on a goal, write a list of actions that will lead you to this goal or at least bring you closer, select from them those that need to be done first, and start.

2. You're afraid of not succeeding.

It’s difficult to start a business if you don’t know in advance what awaits you: will you become successful, or will all your endeavors go down the drain. I'll tell you what awaits us: we will all die! Therefore, there is no point in being afraid of failure at something. Time passes; there is no need to waste it on empty fears. It is better to try and fail than not to try at all.

3. You expect instant results

You want to wake up tomorrow rich, famous, with the figure of a fashion model and the man of your dreams falling on one knee and begging you to be his wife. But life is not a fairy tale, fairy godmothers don’t fly to us to make candy out of sh*t with a wave of a magic wand. In our harsh reality, even the slightest changes in life will require a lot of work. This is depressing, because you want everything at once. You are not ready for long-term work, so you see no incentive to start. But a journey of a thousand kilometers begins with the first step.

4. You tend to procrastinate

If you come up with the idea of ​​starting a new life on Monday, on the first day of the month or after a vacation, then you belong to the category of people who put off any business until later. What happens to such plans is no secret to anyone: they remain only dreams that never come true.

5. You don't know how to manage time effectively.

I think you will agree that any business takes time. The mistake of many is that when planning changes, they do not think about planning their new daily routine. After all, to go for a run in the morning, you need to get up early, which means you need to go to bed early. To go to driving lessons or dance lessons in the evening, you need to leave your child with someone. And not just once, but on an ongoing basis. And if all these issues are not resolved in advance, then you will encounter a lot of obstacles simply due to lack of time and energy, and after a couple of lessons you will tell all your Napoleonic plans to hell.

6. You are not ready for difficulties

You seem to want to start taking action, but the very thought of having to change something in your life scares you. Any change is a departure from the usual, and it is almost always difficult. But if you are afraid of change, have a hard time getting used to new people and surroundings, then your brain will constantly give you convenient excuses to drag you back into the familiar. And sooner or later he will win.

7. Your environment does not support you

If family and friends support your aspirations and even encourage you to take real action, then the likelihood that you will start moving your buns increases many times over. And if, on the contrary, they dissuade you or even put a spoke in your wheels, then you most likely will not start a new life. It's difficult to diet when your husband orders pizza to your house every night and persuades you to eat another slice.

8. You don't believe you need it

When a person really needs something, he will not wait for Monday, New Year, the second coming or an alien invasion. He will start here and now, because he has already understood why he needs to quit smoking, take personal growth courses, learn a language or get a second higher education. He sees a goal for which he needs to take certain steps. And he does them. If you are looking for a reason to start, then you don’t believe that you really need it. "Start on Monday" in in this case- this is a kind of kick in the ass, because you cannot find any other reasons.

I think this happened to you too. A few months ago you promised yourself to quit smoking. Or stop eating sweets in such incredible quantities. Or start healthy image life and go to the gym. You set strict conditions for yourself and demonstrated remarkable willpower. There was only one relief: a new life will begin in the New Year. You will wake up on the morning of January 1 (that is, not in the morning, of course, but for a new life it will be morning), and everything will be as you want. You’ll start skiing right away, you won’t eat leftovers from the holiday table, you’ll buy a trainer instead of three new dresses, and you won’t be rude to your boss. Just like that, with the wave of a magic wand. And you believe in this and look forward to the New Year, because there, after its arrival, a new, bright life will begin, where you will be a hundred times smarter, more beautiful and healthier.

But New Year comes, and on the first day you wake up with a sore head. And you eat a whole box of donated chocolates. And you drink a huge mug of strong coffee with a cigarette. Then you grumble at your mother and husband. You watch TV all weekend (9 days, oh happiness!) without getting out of bed. And when your memorable conscience reminds you that you, in fact, remember, planned to start life with a blank slate, you shush her and make excuses: “I’ll start on March 1. It will be easier in the spring.” But spring begins somehow casually, unnoticed, by the way, and then you - well, just like me - decide that now you will definitely change everything and be smart, but only after your birthday. And after your birthday you become sad, so unbearably sad that it’s completely unbearable to force yourself. And then you again remember about the New Year and begin to wait for it with persistent hope. Yes, then, on January 1, you will start all over again.

A vicious circle, you might think. And together with you, I will think so, and hundreds, thousands of other girls who tend to dream and believe in something bright and good. And we also know how to wait. Therefore, it is easier for us to set ourselves illusory deadlines for when everything will change, than to change everything now, urgently, from today, and not from next Monday.

Let someone call it laziness, but we know that this is just our slight weakness. It turns out that taking and doing something is much more difficult than waiting. It's like jumping into cold water. You wanted, you planned, you decided... But when you stand before this very moment and you are about to do something, you begin to doubt. Were you so bad that you had to change everything so radically? But won't it get worse after this? Isn’t it in vain that you started all this? What if something good goes along with the bad? And you can come up with hundreds of excuses just not to change anything... And along with this refusal of your strong-willed decision, you lose self-confidence, confidence in tomorrow, you lose self-respect and even, perhaps, the respect of others. After all, have you already told someone that you are starting a new life in the New Year? You see how many consequences there are... Therefore, you need to pull yourself together and take a step. Straight into the hole. At once. And let it be cold and hard at first, but then there will be results that you never expected.

1. Don't set impossible goals
I had a friend who decided to go in for sports every day since the New Year. I bought a fitness membership in advance, plus new skis and nice sportswear. Throughout December, all my friend’s conversations and thoughts were occupied with this noble goal. We listened to her and were envious of how great she was, that she had made up her mind like that and had already invested so much money in this business. This means there is no turning back. And then the New Year came. On the first day she allowed herself a day off, and on the second she went skiing to the nearest forest. The walk went well. The next day my muscles ached, but the membership to the sports club did not give me any rest. On the third, she worked out for two hours on cardio equipment. On the fourth, my friend could not move. Having missed three days of training, she became sad and gave up on her maximum goal. I sold my subscription. I put my skis on the balcony and plunged into a lazy weekend. And why all? Because she overestimated her strength. If she had decided to exercise twice a week, she would have completely mastered this regime and would not have despaired so quickly.

We often take our plans too seriously and choose the most radical path. And by doing so we are dooming ourselves to failure. If you realize that sweets are not good for you, then in no case completely forbid yourself to eat sweets. Limit yourself to two chocolates a day.

Quitting smoking is also easier if you reduce the number of cigarettes you smoke per day. Either way, take care of yourself. After all, it is not some other person who will implement your plan after the New Year, but you. And it won’t be easy for you, you might break down. Therefore, try to realistically assess your capabilities and set only feasible goals. And over time, you will be able to improve your results and set yourself new and new standards, which will become easier and easier to overcome.

2. Create a reward
First of all, this could be a slight relaxation in your new rules. If you spent a week preparing amazingly delicious dinners, lunches and breakfasts for your husband, then on Sunday you can be capricious. If you’ve been training for a month without missing a single pass, then you can skip a couple of classes by sitting in the sauna and drinking green tea with a friend in a fitness cafe. And only when you understand how nice it is to reward yourself for great job, you will get even more pleasure from it.

And if you have an ally in your endeavors, then demand a reward from him. For example, your friend has long hinted that he would like to so that you lose weight. He hinted very tactfully, and you yourself understand that this is a reasonable hint. This means that it’s worth bringing a friend along as a stimulating moment. Let him promise to buy that combination from an expensive store that you have been eyeing for so long if you lose 3 kg in a month. Don't forget about the first point and set a realistic goal. Then you receive additional motivation: a possible gift, the respect of an ally and a feeling of your own strong will. Agree: following your new rules is much easier this way.

And since you are inclined to associate the beginning of a new life with specific date(the beginning of the New Year), then also associate the possible reward with a certain number on the calendar and mark it in red. Then you will be able to calculate your strength and will feel that your efforts will soon be rewarded.

You will see a possible stopping point when you can evaluate the result. You can also reassure yourself with the thought that on that very day you will be able to completely stop your new life and return to the old one. That is, you can consider a return to last year’s rules as a reward if suddenly something doesn’t work out. But I hope this doesn't happen.

3. Start a little earlier than scheduled.
No matter what we think of ourselves, it is very difficult to take any important step on January 1st. Simply because this day is very illusory and non-existent for us. On the first day of the New Year, we must finish delicious salads and juicy tangerines, drink almost spent champagne and lie at home all day, once again watching the same old New Year's films. It's such a tradition. And it will be very difficult to break it. Then, on January 2, it will be no less difficult, because it seems that you have already given in and as a result lost your passion.

Therefore, there is only one way out - to start a little earlier. Back on December 25th, for example. Even then limit the amount of alcohol you drink. Or go skiing. Or abandon half of your fans. It will be like a dress rehearsal, training before the main fight. And even then you will be able to appreciate your strengths and feel like a real hero.

One of my friends was planning to leave her boyfriend for a very long time. Every week she decided to do it the following Monday, but every Monday she couldn't help but put off the explanation. In December, she firmly decided to tell him about everything on the first of January, so as not to spoil the holiday. As you might guess, the New Year was not a success for her, because she could not escape from her difficult thoughts, her hands and lips were trembling and she could not just have a little fun. She wondered how she would say everything, what he would answer, and whether it was in vain that she had come up with all this. And on the first day he left her himself. She, however, was not upset, but still regrets that she did not take this step back in December, then the New Year would have turned out to be joyful, and a lot of nerve cells would have been saved.

4. Keep a diary
This is what psychologists advise. I'm here for sure since the New Year . I will write down my smart thoughts (sometimes this happens), ideas and events there. This will not be the same diary that I kept at 17 years old, but a different, adult diary that will help organize thoughts, analyze events and find the main thing in the useless. I decided to start it on January 1st because my new purchased planner starts on January 1st. But that's not even the main thing. And the main thing is that I am looking forward to 2006, because I feel that it will be something new and interesting. And I will write down any of my undertakings there and monitor its development. So that later, in five years, when I open this leather book, I will not be ashamed that I am one of those people who never finish things. And the diary will push me, help me, support me in difficult times. And I can always turn back a few pages and see: yes, there is, in fact, progress. And that means someone needs all this.

And last on this list, but first in importance: you need to believe in yourself and (a little) in a miracle. Tell yourself: “I can do it” and make a point. There should be no doubt. Because you: a) set a realistic goal and b) see bright future prospects. Plus you want to change and someone supports you. This means that everything will work out for you.

You made a decision, set a deadline, did everything possible - and now all you have to do is follow your own flags, and you will achieve what you want. This fact is known: if a woman doubts her desire and her ability to become a mother, then she has much less chance of becoming pregnant than one who is confident in herself and her health. Therefore, deceive your body and all ill-wishers. Believe in yourself, and then you will find strength. And the coming New Year will help you with this, because we all expect miracles and fairy tales from it, and it will not disappoint our expectations. That's what I wish for you.

Practicing psychologist, healthy thinking coach

I am often asked the question “How to start a new life?” and definitely from the New Year. I can tell you right away that you can start a new life on any day and any month, but considering that it’s December outside, there is beautiful fluffy snow and everyone is in anticipation of miracles, during this period you can easily create your own happy and successful plan for 2018 year.

To make it easier for our brain to accept our new desires and bring them to life, I suggest you play with it. And the game will be that we will create our ideal scenario for 2018. You know, as they say, any great film begins with a great script, and so it is with us: setting goals begins with these simple exercises:

• Write 30-50 of your desired goals in 2018.
• Be sure to formulate them without the “NOT” part, for example, instead of “uncomplicated” - simple, or “don’t be sad” - but have fun. And so on.
• Formulate them in the present tense, as if it had already happened.
• DETAIL, don't write, please, just: I want to be happy!!! If you want care, happiness, love, and so on, please write yourself this simple definition. Indicating one of these non-specific words, describe for yourself what it means to you to be happy. For example, if you want care, then write to yourself what care is for you and from whom, maybe it’s coffee in bed or a call from your loved one in the middle of the day with the question “How are you doing, are you doing well?” or something else. This is important for writing our script. The more detailed you write this in the present time, the clearer your “film” will be and the more specific your goal setting will be.
• After you have written all this down, answer yourself the question: “What is now possible for me?” What opportunities do I now have, considering that everything I wanted happened.

For example, if you want a car, you describe it in as much detail as possible - color, make, interior, what kind of steering wheel, what smell is in your car, and after that you write: now I can go to visit my grandmother, now I can carry everything with me my important things (for example, I carry a set of painting brushes with me in the car, because I don’t know when I’ll want to paint. And I’m always ready). Describe 7-10 possible options that you have. And be sure to imagine how you will feel!!! Feelings and emotions are the currency for purchasing your dreams.

• This is your script and you are in it - main character: describe all your helpers, fairies, friends, those who will always come to your aid.
• Describe those people or situations that may prevent you from achieving your plans. And the most important thing to do with this:

1. come up with a scenario about how you can bypass their influence or what you can do to make the result positive for you.
2. And most importantly, think about why these people were sent to you. That they bring you USEFUL through their actions. This may sound strange, but I assure you, all the people in our lives give us lessons and these lessons are always for our benefit, we just cannot always immediately recognize this benefit.

For example, if a guy left a girl for her friend or just for someone else - great, life itself took the trouble away from you. And saved you years of life. Think about this when you weigh the pros and cons of these situations.

I had a case when for several years in a row there was a person in my environment who constantly devalued my actions and achievements. Phrases like this: “What’s wrong with that? Nothing special! Just think, you didn’t earn a million, but only 100 thousand” or “everyone can paint like that, nothing special.” I can tell you: this is a very good incentive. Of course, I cleared my environment of such people, but their benefit in my life is difficult to overestimate, since thanks to such people we become stronger, faster, richer, smarter and many, many other good things can come to us. So thank such people for the lessons and remove them from your field. You create your own script. And only you are responsible for who is present in your script.

Believe me, when you take responsibility for everything that happens in your life, you can easily create for yourself any conditions for a happy life.

And I’ll also share with you a cool technique on how to neutralize negative people. At that moment when a negative person is next to you, shouts at you or simply says some words that are not pleasant for you, if you cannot leave or stop him, try to look at him and imagine what he is missing in life , maybe joy or love, or success, or maybe you specifically know what this person loves. Then imagine him rejoicing, for example, from the fact that he is doing what he loves, or he gets a big win, or drives his favorite car. Listen to him and imagine.