Self-development and self-improvement: where to start working on yourself. Self-development and self-improvement: where to start working on yourself How to engage in self-development for a man
- What is self-development
- Willpower
- Motivation
- Memory
- Time scheduling
- Discipline
- Psychology
- Self-esteem
- Self confidence
- Relationship
- "Secret"
- "Pay another"
- Bruce Lee "Path of the Fist Leap"
- Lao Tzu "Tao Te Ching"
What is self-development
Human personality is a fickle quantity. Over the course of life, it undergoes many changes, depending on what tests we endure and what tasks we set ourselves. And even living in the same rhythm and adhering to a stable schedule, we change. Often - not for the better, since the lack of development almost always leads to degradation.
Many people in their 30s and 35s have a personality crisis. At these moments we understand that just living and working is not enough. That we want from ourselves something deeper and more global, that the minimums do not suit us, and that not everything can be measured by money and other tangible measures.
Someone comes to this earlier, someone later, and someone does not come at all. For some people, the trigger is shock; for others, insight occurs naturally and gradually. As a result, there is a desire to take the path of self-development, stop making demands on the world and start working on oneself, to engage in self-development.
What is self-development? This is a constant and complex process of working on oneself, developing one's positive qualities in various areas - physical, intellectual, creative, emotional, spiritual. Self-development is characterized by voluntariness and self-control, when a person learns new information and applies it in practice without any external coercion.
Why is it important to engage in self-development
Indeed, why all this torment? Learning new information, tiresome sports, constant stress ... After all, you can relax on the couch, watch TV series and enjoy "doing nothing". But idleness is an imaginary happiness, the reverse side of which is fraught with depression and disappointment in life.
Man is made like this: he needs constant growth, the search for something new. Stopping moving (not only in the physical, but also in the mental sense), he begins to degrade. Swimming is an example - in order to stay on the water, we have to make an effort. Having relaxed and lost control, the swimmer immediately goes to the bottom.
Take a look around and compare happy and unhappy acquaintances. What is the difference? Happy open a new business, study at trainings, go in for sports, travel constantly, learn something new. Unhappy people have been working at the same job for decades, have fun only with the help of beer and are constantly looking for those to blame for their failures.
The answer to our question is simple - you need to engage in self-development in order to become happy. Anyone who has set foot on this path understands that both the process itself and the results bring pleasure. And that this resource is inexhaustible, because the upper level of perfection simply does not exist.
Where to start self-development and self-improvement
The very, very first step that precedes any action is thought. Desire, idea - call it what you want. They are individual and are formulated differently for each. From the vague "I don't want to live like this anymore" to "I plan to learn five languages and earn at least one hundred thousand a month."
The first thing to do is want. And you need to want for a long time, persistently and continuously. At first, you will not understand how to get down to business at all, doubt your abilities, wander in the dark due to the lack of guidelines ...
Then the answers will begin to come. They are manifested in a book that someone gave as a gift, in an unusual person, in new opportunities (for example, going on a multi-day hike with tents).
At this moment, you need to accept all constructive proposals and all unexpected challenges. But you yourself need to constantly look for these answers, strive for them, and not sit idly by. Read articles on the Internet, watch videos on the topic of self-development, look for books, try some of the recommendations in practice. From all this, a methodology will begin to emerge, the first results will appear, and you will see your path.
This can take a lot of time - it all depends on the person himself and his starting position. For some, a month will be enough, while others will be in search for a year or two. The main thing is not to give up and remember that the search will definitely be crowned with success.
8 reasons why people don't develop
It would seem that everything is simple - you take it and develop. You bought a book and read it. Or go to the gym, grab a barbell, and swing whatever you want. But no! If everything were simple, there would be much more people engaged in self-development.
There are many factors, the absence of which prevents us from improving.
Willpower
Psychologists have long argued about what willpower is, why some have it, while others do not, and what to do about it. We spent a lot of experiments and research and came to the conclusion: willpower is such a personal quality that can be developed like a muscle. And its presence is mainly determined by upbringing and habits inherent in childhood. Lucky for those who had disciplined and strong-willed parents who developed these qualities in their children. If this is not the case in the family - well, the path will be long, but it is quite within the power of everyone to go through it.
In defining willpower as a concept, the important thing is that thanks to this personality trait, we can follow our decisions and do whatever is necessary to achieve our goals without succumbing to laziness, reluctance, or procrastination.
How to develop willpower? There are two main techniques: doing and not doing. Doing - doing unpleasant or boring but rewarding activities, such as exercising in the morning. Not doing is the deliberate refusal of harmful actions. For example, from smoking or overeating.
By the way, church fasting is precisely a practice aimed at training willpower: by refusing to eat certain foods, we learn to control ourselves. If you dig even deeper, it turns out that in all religions there are similar practices of refusal - from food, comfort, property, certain thoughts or actions. This is because the technique of not-doing strengthens willpower much more.
Willpower is a spiritual quality of the highest grade, one of the most important for a person. Having developed it, you can radically change your life. Have you heard the phrase: "I know how to do it right, but for some reason I do the opposite"? This is what people with undeveloped willpower say.
Motivation
Motivation is a powerful force. When a person really wants something, he is ready to move mountains. Did something go wrong? That means they wanted badly. After all, when you really want a cake, are you ready to go three kilometers to the night supermarket for it?
It turns out that you need to teach yourself to want correctly? Exactly! Our cunning brain is aimed at saving energy, as Mother Evolution ordered. And he will come up with excuses to discourage his master from unnecessary work: “Well, why is this necessary? We already feel good! Oh, look, a new message in the messenger! Look, look, kittens in the picture! "
Therefore, you need to use cunning against the attitudes of your own subconscious, lazy and wanting only to have fun.
How to motivate yourself to work? First of all, you need to set the right goals, because even the best motivation will not work when you do not understand what you want, or set false goals imposed by society. For example, money or status. Listening to yourself, you may suddenly find that you really want to hitchhike or volunteer in Africa, and not spin like a squirrel in a wheel to satisfy other people's needs.
So, having set the right goal, we concretize and visualize it. What business? What will you do, target audience, idea, team, slogan, thematic colors? What house? How many floors, is there a garage, basement, sauna, how many rooms?
For example, you want to start your own business, but have never done business. Create an environment in which you can understand how suitable such an activity is for you: for example, register withfree time management game"Your start" . This is a business simulator, where you can start and develop your business in a fun and safe game way, having received a lot of useful information about entrepreneurship in the process.
After fleshing out and visualizing, we must remember our goal and its positive emotional components. Constantly imagine yourself doing interesting business projects or choosing curtains for the bedroom in your home. Think good.
Do not doubt your abilities, believe in victory and do not assume other options. People who have achieved high performance in life are often asked: "How did you manage to implement such a complex project?" In response, many of them say: "I made a decision that I must go this path to the end, whatever it may be."
Memory
Memory is very important for a harmonious personality. We need the ability to memorize information and operate with it all the time: in school, work and even entertainment. You can keep up a conversation only when you have something interesting to tell. And how to do this if neither the plot of the book you have read, nor the twists and turns of your own journey are kept in your head?
For successful work, memory is one of the main tools. The more a person achieves, the more information flows through him. How to cope with it if the "flash drive" does not hold large volumes? Write everything down? Well, no, this is not an option. Try it take the course "Flashing" in which you will improve your thinking speed, memory and reading speed.
Memory, like all other qualities, can be developed through exercise. For example, read,how to get smarter in 15 minutes a dayand put this information into practice.
Time scheduling
It is impossible to complete complex and multi-stage work without planning all its steps. This also applies to self-development. Anyone who wants to change their life for the better should have a plan for the year, month, week and day.
But you also need to be able to plan. Not everyone succeeds in making realistic and feasible plans the first time. Therefore, we recommend that you study25 time scheduling rulesso that this skill makes the job easier, rather than complicating it.
There are planning secrets that optimize work so much that you wonder - where did I do so much time before? To learn how to correctly use all 24 hours, goa free course to help you increase your productivity.
Discipline
Discipline is another whale of self-development that you cannot do without. All practices aimed at improvement require constant and routine repetition. Anyone can go for a run once, hold out for a week - every third, and only a few can turn running into an integral part of the schedule.
Discipline is necessary both in order to give up bad habits, and in order to adhere to the daily routine, and for accustoming yourself to proper nutrition.
You also need discipline in order to fight one of the worst enemies of development - laziness. Finding the answers to the questionhow to overcome laziness, we are getting closer to our goals.
Psychology
Our results are highly dependent on thinking and attitudes. If you think "I still won't succeed," then it will. If you consider all rich people to be thieves and scoundrels, then you will never become rich - we do not want to be bad. If you are sure that "all men are goats," then such a companion will be met.
How to think and what to think is up to us. Find out,how to think effectively- and you will save a lot of time and effort that was spent on self-digging, worries and destructive emotions.
Self-esteem
A person accepts only what he considers himself worthy. Everyone sets the level of income, attention of the opposite sex and other life criteria for himself.
Unrealistic self-esteem (overestimated or underestimated) prevents its owner from realizing himself in life. We commit illogical actions and make a choice in favor of failure, subconsciously believing that this should be our destiny. Failure, suffering, dealing with toxic people are all the choices of a person with unhealthy self-esteem.
To fix the situation, you need to understandreasons for low self-esteemand try to eliminate them. Often they are hidden in deep childhood, associated with the divorce of parents or bullying at school - it is very difficult to let go of such things, but it is necessary.
Self confidence
I will succeed - successful people keep repeating to themselves. They are confident that they can achieve more, and even in the event of failure, they continue to believe that they will succeed, but next time.
The most important resource of a person is himself. You need to trust yourself, believe in yourself, respect yourself and love.
But how many people hate themselves ... They do not even want to buy beautiful clothes for themselves, because they "did not deserve it." Before you start developing, you need to find the answer to the question:how to love yourself? Self-improvement is impossible without self-love ...
A harmonious personality is strong at the same time in all life planes. To develop yourself evenly, you need to draw up a step-by-step plan, which will include all the main vectors of growth.
This plan is different for everyone. One solves integrals in his head, but has not yet learned to build relationships with the opposite sex, the second throws a two-pound weight with one left, but at the same time has read only one book in his entire life. And a third person may come to the understanding that he really does not know how to do anything and has not developed any of the vectors.
When building a plan, you need to take into account all areas, but at the same time perform supportive work where you have already achieved success (so that the bias does not go in the opposite direction) and devote more time to those parties that are not yet developed.
Spirituality is a complex and multifaceted issue. We are not going to talk about religion and philosophy now, these are too complex topics to discuss now. Let's talk about those aspects of spirituality that make the person himself happy.
Gratitude. Having learned to be grateful for every little thing, we always feel joy, even in difficult times. A grateful person will be able to find a ray of hope in the fluttering of spring leaves and the kitten's games. He easily forgives the shortcomings of loved ones, remembering that they were there when help was needed. Gratitude is wealth.
Love. To love unselfishly, without possessive habits, of course, without demands, is a high art. It brings joy, just like playing your favorite instrument or contemplating the ocean. True love knows neither fear nor pain.
A spiritual person always feels responsible for his actions, lives consciously, strives to be better. He does not lose faith and does not allow himself to fall into despair, strives to learn the world and be free from passions, addictions and negative thoughts.
What is meant by the words "personal growth"? This is the improvement of indicators responsible for intellectual activity and the wealth of the inner world, an improvement in the quality of life at the mental level. Achievement of goals, positive thinking, development of memory and intelligence - all this is included in the concept of personal growth.
To make it completely clear, I will say that the results of personal growth will forever remain with us, even if we turn out to be a complete bankrupt without a roof over our heads. A mature person will have enough knowledge and skills, fortitude and motivation, determination and self-confidence to withstand the most difficult situation. A person with low personal indicators is dependent on material property, therefore, he lives in fear of losing what he has.
People who have gone through illness or have lost the ability to work, as no one else acutely understand the importance of health. You can work, study, develop, love and learn about the world only if you have the strength to do so.
Young people often neglect their health. It seems to them that they will always be strong, no matter how they eat, drink alcohol or smoke. In adulthood, feeling the consequences of their frivolity, they grab their heads and bite their elbows. Someone thinks over in time, and he succeeds in restoring health, but it is often too late.
We have enough information and understand wellhow to be healthy... We know perfectly well that you cannot indulge bad habits, overeat, work to exhaustion, and be nervous a lot. But do we often use this knowledge in practice?
The problem of modern busy people is especially common - they do not know how to rest properly. But rest is the key to productive work. Breathing exercises, meditations, relaxation in nature, voluntary loneliness, quality sleep are moments that need to be given enough attention.
It is imperative to introduce physical activity into your life, at least walking in the park. We are not talking about professional sports - it is more traumatic activity than useful. But light physical activity brings the body into a state of vigor and gives energy. Let it be dancing, badminton, cycling - whatever is fun. The main thing is that they must be regular.
Relationship
Each has its own type of relationship. They are different, but they equally require constant work: building a framework, expressing love, caring, spending time together. Unhappy is the one who makes a lot of money, but does not see how his children grow up.
Relationship with another person is very important - yourself. Actually, it is with them that the building of all other connections begins. One who respects and loves himself knows how to respect and love others. Anyone who cannot find a common language with himself will never make friends with the rest.
All people need to fulfill their potential at work, to benefit others, and to do something they are proud of. This is such a deep need that ignoring it makes a person unhappy, even if outwardly everything is going well for him.
Therefore, it is important to choose a business for career development that is fun and enjoyable to do. When you wake up with the thought: "Hurray, today there is so much interesting work!", The question of money and promotion will be solved by itself. Or go for a free marathon "Wake up the Reactive Brain"
Of course, not everything in this world can be bought for money, and in general, their role is too exaggerated. But without them in any way. Having financial freedom, we feel calm and confident, we can afford to travel, spend money on cultural and mental development, eat right, provide for our family, and help our parents.
It will take you only 7 days to get your
financial situation after reading a book "A Trajectory to Financial Freedom".
Most of us are self-employed. In such a job, you can get a good income, and especially if you are a good employee and are constantly moving up the career ladder. But this is not always the case, and many specialists, having reached the career ceiling in any organization, come to the conclusion that it is time to go free floating. You just need to understand how to start correctly.
To do this, you can gofree training to help start your business... By working for ourselves, we can achieve much more in the financial sector.
How do you spend the New Year? I'll try to guess: put the tree down, set the table, buy champagne and, to the chimes, clink your glasses, making wishes. There are daredevils who break the system to smithereens - they do not cook Olivier and herring under a fur coat.
Why not order an escape room for the whole family? Or go to the forest, light a fire and dress up a real tree? Or create some more madness?
And I would like to, but we do not know how, right? So it turns out that our imagination is enough for the maximum refusal of Olivier at the New Year's table.
Many interesting adventures and unprecedented undertakings do not require serious expenses, physical preparation and a lot of time. We just don't have enough ideas. In order to turn into a person rich in inventions, you need to know how develop creative thinking.
Making your life colorful is not as difficult as it seems. This is not a whim and not a luxury - our soul and brain need emotions, impressions, joy, delight. All this makes our personality richer, nourishes like a sweet elixir.
In the process of self-development, not only attitude is important, but also the quality of information. We mainly draw it from books and films, which we will talk about below.
10 best films for self-development
Films useful for development can be conditionally divided into three categories: feature films, where deep philosophy and motivation are hidden, documentaries, where you can learn more about the world around us, human psychology and the path of civilization; and biographical - about people from whom you can take an example.
You can bring a wholelist of biographical filmsabout outstanding people, but I will remember only one thing: this is an Air Force documentary about the greatest scientist who discovered many of the laws of physics. He figured out the nature of light and gave us the law of universal gravitation. But what kind of person was Newton that allowed him to become the most enlightened mind of the era, and what secrets did he hide?
A film starring the consummate Jim Carrey. This story is about a loser named Karl Allen, who passes by life. Karl always answers "no" to all proposals and is content with the existence of a hermit, because he is afraid even to leave the apartment. But an event happens that forces Karl to say "yes" to any, even the most insane proposal. And this is where his new life begins.
A comedy tape about life priorities and how important it is to be attentive to your words. The main character in the role of Eddie Murphy brings a special charm - that's really who can chat endlessly and with great speed. The successful literary agent Jack McCall, who knows how to persuade even the dead, overshadows family and love, gives all the time to a career and money. But after learning that there are only a thousand words left in his life, and having said the last, he will die, Jack begins to think about what is more important to him.
We can see the beauty of the wild nature in all its scale, and the traces of the development of the planet by man - so small from a bird's eye view, but so globally changed the appearance of our House forever. Who are we, and what is the role of each of us in the destruction or creation of the Earth? Are we ready to take responsibility for preserving our monastery?
"Secret"
"Secret" - a documentary film-interview about how a person attracts events with the help of thought, about the power of desire and the materiality of information. The film consists of a series of interviews with different people, setting out the philosophical basis of the "law of attraction" using examples from their own lives.
"Pay another"
"Pay another" - a touching film about the boy Trevor, who came up with an interesting system of mutual assistance. He did good deeds absolutely disinterestedly, but at the same time asked to “pay another,” that is, to do good to a stranger. So the chain of good deeds grew and went not only outside the city, but also outside the state. One child changed the lives of many, and it makes you think: after all, we can also change the world, you just need to want to.
A mystical and deeply psychological film based on the book of the same name by Stephen King. It tells about the last place of prisoners, where they are prepared for execution. Death is in the air, everyone becomes real in front of her face: someone demonstrates nobility, someone - baseness of spirit. Stay true to yourself and help even your executioners - only a strong person is capable of this. It is he who changes the worldview of everyone who meets with him.
10 best books for self-development
It is known that the most successful people read a lot, and mainly specialized literature - on psychology, self-development, and their profession. Fiction books should be read too - they enrich our vocabulary and develop our imaginations.
You need to read a lot and regularly - it is advisable to draw up a schedule for yourself and designate reading norms for each day so that the work moves in the same rhythm. Your schedule should includelist of books on meditation, psychology, business and finance, history of the country and the world, biographies, philosophical literature and motivating books.
And in order for you to be able to cover large amounts of information without much stress, we recommend taking a free course"Reactive brain" ... Its developers took speed reading techniques as a basis and enriched them with exercises to speed up thinking and structure information.
The author of the book independently walked the path to success from scratch. Even before completing his studies at school and starting his work with the profession of a laborer, he became the vice president of the company. By researching his own experiences and the stories of others, Brian Tracy became a renowned psychologist and has written numerous books on success and how to achieve it.
Mark Manson " The subtle art of indifference: A Paradoxical Way to Live Happily "
Have you ever wondered how much resource we spend on being nervous, worrying, suffering from setbacks and worrying, painting pictures of the future. Our nerves and emotions also require energy, and when we stop worrying about the inevitable, we free up a lot of time and energy for work. Mark Manson's books teach us how to achieve a goal without braking ourselves with unnecessary emotions, and move on even after the most epic failures.
Carlos Castaneda"Journey to Ixtlan"
Long ago, in the 1960s, in the vastness of Mexico, anthropologist Carlos met don Juan, a Yaki Indian, who turned out to be a magician. He passed on to his new student all the knowledge, and Castaneda wrote them down in the form of field notes, published later in ten volumes. We do not urge you to read all ten, but here is the third volume, "Journey to Ixtlan"- we recommend. It contains an extract of don Juan's philosophy - the path of a warrior, relationship with the world and oneself. The concept of a sense of self-importance is important, which slows down a person in achieving goals. Tip: take the book itself as a fairy tale with morality, since the main thing in it is philosophy, not the plot.
Regina Brett "God Never Blinks: 50 Lessons That Will Change Your Life"
Autobiographical book American journalist who managed to change her life and make her dreams come true in a situation from which, it would seem, there is no way out. A girl from a family of 11 children, Regina went through difficult trials in life and managed to cope with them. These tips are about how to learn to live with your past and let go of grievances as you move forward.
Robert Kiyosaki: "Rich Dad Poor Dad"
It is always interesting to read the books of people who have lived a bright life. Robert Kiyosaki has been a Marine, a pilot, a sales agent, a businessman and a teacher. Today he is a successful investor and writer whose books have become bestsellers. He teaches not how to make money, but how to change your thinking, because it is this that is the main key to wealth. We highly recommend reading his book. "Rich dad, poor dad" to change your life for the better.
Bruce Lee "Path of the Leading Fist"
Who has not heard of the legendary Bruce Lee? We know that he was a martial artist and famous actor, but we forget that he was also a philosopher and reformer in the field of martial arts. His notes were published in 1975, after the death of the author. It seems that they are devoted to martial arts, but in reality they are full of deep reflections on the development of the warrior's personality.
Kelly McGonigal " Strength of will. How to develop and strengthen»
We have already talked about willpower and its importance for development, and now let's pick up a book about the method of educating this property in ourselves. Psychologist and teacher Kelly McGonigal I carefully studied this issue and came to the conclusion that in attempts to develop willpower, we are often guided by false ideas and are held captive by stereotypes. This book tells about research and experimentation, about people who applied Kelly's advice in practice, and the results they were able to achieve.
Lao Tzu "Tao Te Ching"
This book is not in vain at the very end - it is better for immature minds not to mess with it. Lao Tzu is an ancient Chinese philosopher who is credited with the authorship of a treatise on two principles of life: Tao and Te. It's better to read it little by little., several proposals a day. You can study Lao Tzu all your life, but you never fully understand it. Therefore, do not be alarmed if at first his sayings will seem like sheer rubbish. Even one meaningful idea from the treatise will bring many practical benefits to the reader - for example, about non-action as an important component of activity.
book, Tao Te Ching What you need to do right now:
- Read another article "How to get rid of obsessive thoughts"
- Read at least one of the listed books, as well as other books on self-development.
- For those who constantly do not have enough time for all matters, study course "Anti-time management"
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This article contains some useful practical exercises that, by the way, are selling for a thousand dollars in some places. I'll save you money by describing these instructions simply and without water. Believe me, they will not become less effective from this, and you can rest assured of the enormous power of these exercises. Tested on many people. So, if you are wondering where to start self-development not only out of curiosity, but want to really improve your life, before reading the article, take a notebook and a pen to do the exercises.
What is self-development
Before we know where to start self-development and self-improvement, let's think, what is self-development?
Self-development is a very broad concept and each person puts his own meaning in it, depending on his system of values. Someone understands by self-development the development of their business and an increase in monetary income, someone is losing weight, for other people self-development is relationships with people, the ability to love and be happy, communication skills. We can say that a person is engaged in self-development if every new day he becomes a little better than he was yesterday. And what kind of person to be - everyone decides for himself.
Whatever goals you pursue, all paths of self-development have one general principle. Self-development should be started from this single principle. I will tell you about this unified principle at the end of the article. And now, let's talk about everything in order.
Step 1. Where to start self-development - the current state of affairs
Self-development must begin with a sober assessment of the current state of affairs. It can be very frustrating at times to admit that there is a specific problem, but this is a necessary first step. The situation in which you are now is the result of your past efforts or lack of them.
Let's call this situation "point A".
Practical exercise.
This exercise should be done in writing on paper or in a word processor on a computer. But it's better on paper. Describe your problem, fleshing out the details as precisely as possible. For example, if your problem is low income, then write this: my income is ... rubles (insert the exact number of your income). Or you are overweight and you think it is a problem, write down: my weight is… kg (insert the exact number of your weight). If the problem cannot be quantified, describe it in words. For example, when I try to speak English, I confuse tenses.
When you have decided on the problem, you need to understand: what do you want to change in the current situation, that is, set a goal. Goals also need to be clear and specific. There is a good exercise for that.
Step 2. Set a goal for self-development
Exercise for clear goal setting:
Take a piece of paper and a pen. We will now describe the ideal experience of achieving a goal. Imagine the day you reached your goal and describe in detail one specific moment of that day. It's like writing a script for a movie.
- Write what number it is. Set realistic deadlines for your goals, do not think that in one day you will lose 50 kg or increase your income 100 times in a month.
- What time is it? (not now when you are doing this exercise, but at that ideal moment in the future).
- Where are you in this perfect experience?
- What other people are in this ideal experience?
- What are you doing at this moment? What do you feel?
Describe this experience in detail.
Be careful, this exercise is called the "goal achievement experience" for a reason. It is the experience that needs to be described, not just an abstract goal.
For example, "I make a lot of money" is an abstract goal. But “I look at the mobile application of my bank and see on my account $ 100,000, which I received for the sale of a successful project, my dog Busya is sitting next to me, and my wife Katya is packing our things into a suitcase, because in three hours we have a plane to the Bahamas, where we rented a house of 120 square meters on the seashore for a month ... "and so on. it is a concrete experience of experience. To understand that you are doing the exercise correctly, remember that you are writing a script for the director to use for the scene.
We will call this experience of achieving the goal "point B".
Step 3. Draw up a plan for self-development
So, we know where we are and where we want to go. We have also determined the exact timeframe by which we will come from point A to point B. Now we need to do another practice exercise. We'll need paper and a pen again. This time we will write the ideal scenario for achieving the goal.
Imagine that you have already achieved your goal in self-development and are at point B, in that ideal experience that you described in the previous step. Now, in your imagination, look from this ideal future, when the goal has already been achieved, into the past and answer the question: how did I achieve this goal? The fact is that if you have a clear goal, your subconscious already knows the easiest way to achieve it. You imagine that experience when the goal has already been achieved, but being in imagination in that experience, you understand that all this did not arise out of nowhere. Some events must have preceded this experience. And you just "remember" what happened before. Write down on paper the chain of events that led you from point A to point B, starting with later events and moving back in time to earlier.
Now you have a step-by-step plan of self-development in the chosen direction with intermediate goals.
I will soon write a separate article about this amazingly effective system of 100% achievement of goals, stay tuned.
Choosing a priority direction of self-development
Now let's talk about how to determine in which area of life to start self-development, if it seems that there are too many problems: there is not enough money, and you need to improve your physical shape, and learn English. There are so many things to do that you do not know what to take on.
Bad news: you can't get everything right away. And it is better to set a goal in one direction and gradually move towards it, giving it priority.
The good news: by regularly doing self-development in one area of your life, you will imperceptibly begin to pull up all the others.
Each person chooses the priority direction for development himself. For some, this is a career, for others, personal life, etc.
Psychologists identify eight main areas of life that are most important for most people. It is convenient to depict them in the form of a circle divided into sectors. Each sector is dedicated to one main living area.
Right now, you can rate each area of life on a scale from 0 to 10 and connect all the ratings with each other with lines. As a result, you will see a clear example of how balanced your life is. Here's one example:
A common example of a person who spares no effort to invest in making money, forgetting about health, friends, spiritual growth, communication with family.
In fact, thanks to a huge amount of psychological research, we can confidently say that a person feels happy when there is contentment in all areas of life. It makes no sense to invest all your efforts in one area, forgetting about others. Yes, you can achieve good success in this area, but why, if you feel unhappy at the same time? Unfortunately, this is most often realized too late, when precious time has irrevocably gone.
Therefore, it is better to start self-development from the area that you gave the lowest mark.
20 things you can do in your daily life for your self-development
- Read about what you want to improve in your life. Do you want to develop a specific skill? Read about it every day.
- Find a mentor. A mentor can be anyone who can do what you want to do. In turn, remember to help those with less experience than you. Mentoring is by far the fastest path to development.
- Keep a journal at the end of the day. If you are really serious about self-development, you need to constantly know what you can improve in yourself. And the only way to know this is to think and ask yourself every day - what and how you can change in yourself in order to become better.
- Create strong habits. These are your habits that reveal your strengths, not the other way around. You cannot live one life and expect to have another. Today's habits create your future life.
- Find like-minded people. In fact, it is difficult to develop alone. Spend time with people who share your values and support each other. Try to avoid socializing with those who demotivate you.
- Create a system of rewards and punishments. This is necessary for those who are struggling with their laziness and bad habits.
- Be honest with yourself. No amount of idle talk will lead to change. This is the hardest part. It is much easier to buy a book on self-development or read an article and say to yourself: "I am working on myself." But is something really changing? Be your own judge. But never judge yourself by comparing to other people. You should only compare yourself with yourself in the past, and objectively judge the changes.
- Find an example for yourself. You shouldn't compare yourself with others, but looking for inspiration for self-development in other people is sometimes very useful.
- Measure your progress. One of my teachers used to say: If you cannot measure the result of an action, do not do it. No matter how ephemeral the things you do, you must find a way to measure your progress. This is the only way to know if you are going in the right direction and if you need to turn off.
- Regularity is the key. Self-development doesn't happen overnight. It happens slowly and gradually. Consistent and regular effort is what creates truly meaningful change. And that's what makes self-development so difficult. There is no magic pill that you swallow - and everything is fixed. Self-development is a daily routine and lifestyle.
- The best time to plant a tree was 10 years ago. The next best time is now. No matter how distant the goal may seem, start acting now using the resources that you have.
- Take small steps. Imagine that a long staircase leads to a big goal, and think only about how to climb the next step. It will be a small victory that will inspire you. And then there will be another step in front of you, and another, until you reach your original goal.
- Learn from other people. Whatever skill you develop in yourself, there are people who have passed this path and willingly share their experience. Your own experience is a harsh teacher, so it's best to learn from the mistakes of others. Find a good mentor and read more books.
- The world is changing all the time. And you change too. Even if you don't do anything, you have to change every time the world turns upside down again. This cannot be avoided. Success is achieved by the one who adapts to change the fastest.
- Take responsibility. You are responsible for your own development. You are responsible for where you are now and what you are doing right now. Don't blame anyone, and don't blame yourself. Be mindful. Mindfulness is responsibility without guilt.
- Be grateful. The nature of our mind is always to focus on trouble. We quickly get used to good things and immediately begin to wish for the best. Thanks to this, we grow. But still, do not forget about all the good things that we already have. And every day to feel gratitude for it.
- Use the power of intention. If you are 100 percent sure that you want to achieve something, then very soon it will become your reality. All the reality around you is the result of your conscious and subconscious intentions. The ability to feel your subconscious intentions and "erase" them if they lead you not where you want to consciously is an important component of success in self-development.
- Set realistic goals. Goals that are too easy will prevent you from feeling powerful and enjoying the joy of success, while goals that are too difficult can rob you of your confidence. In setting goals, it is important to find a middle ground. Then, when you reach the goal of medium difficulty and are convinced of your strength, move on to those goals that previously seemed impossible to you.
- Listen to your heart. It is impossible to develop for a long time in an area that you do not like. Choose a path that is heartfelt and in line with your values. Become a Master along the way so that the people around you cannot tell if you are working or playing, because you are doing both.
- Keep going and never give up. The only way to fail at a goal is to quit achieving it. If you have done some action, and it did not lead you to the goal, just do something else. Look for new approaches over and over again and one day you will find the key to your dream.
Conclusion
And as usual, after a general review of the topic, I will write my personal opinion. Agree with him or not, decide for yourself. I believe that self-development should start with developing the skill of managing your mind and your attention. To us, in my opinion, this is the basis for the success of any other self-development activity. After all, it is the lack of self-control skills that most often becomes the reason that a person cannot regularly engage in self-development.
How many times have you started losing weight, doing fitness or learning English and quitting. There are too many distractions in the modern world: TV shows, social networks, television, the Internet, a huge flow of information and information noise. Thousands of signals around are struggling to grab our attention and pinch off a piece of energy.
And the most unpleasant thing is that most of this information is simply useless, and often harmful. If you hear good information, then they want to force you to buy something. If you hear any news about events in the world, then they most likely want to intimidate you. And every little bit of information tries to evoke some emotion in you.
To achieve your goals in self-improvement, you just need to learn how to channel your energy in the right direction, and give a tough rebuff to anything that tries to divert attention without your permission.
And from all this, I want to conclude that you need to start self-development and self-improvement with meditation. Meditation is training to control your mind. Meditation is a platform that ensures the effectiveness of self-development, whether it is learning foreign languages, public speaking or physical development. We can say that the mind is a tool that we use to change ourselves. You should not be like that fool from the parable who for the third hour saws a log with a dull saw because he does not have time to sharpen the saw. Prepare a good tool first, and then it will go a lot faster with it.
The development of the mind, the ability to control oneself, one's attention with the help of meditation - this is where you need to start self-development.
We all want the same thing. Each of us tries to achieve maximum comfort in life in which we will experience the strongest feelings - love, happiness, craving for adventure, excitement, complacency.
The reason that self-development as an idea and as a practice exists in general is because we do not feel the proper quality of life... Otherwise, there would be no need for us to develop.
There are many ways to start working on self-development. You can work on anything you don't like about yourself, or enhance what you like.
We all love different things, so this work is unique for everyone. But there is list of generic methods to help you grow as a person:
- Take time to think.
- Make learning a habit.
- Stop wasting energy and rest.
- Know your desires.
- Take care of yourself physically.
- Prioritize.
If you don't take the time to think about why you want to improve, how to improve, how to learn how to do it, where to find time to improve, and how to get rid of excuses for why you haven't started yet, chances are you will never budge. ...
1. Take time to think
We are convinced that we know what is good and what is bad, what behavior of people is correct, what well-being is, what success means, what happiness means, how to become happy ...
To meditate is to go deep in thoughts into something, that is, to really think about and ask yourself a certain question. We live as if we already know the answers to all questions.
We all live according to certain principles, right? We are all in a constant search for the same thing - comfort, that is, such a state of mind when we will feel a stable feeling of happiness, craving for the unknown, excitement and love.
It doesn't seem interesting to you that most of the people who come across our path, including ourselves, feel no satisfaction(rate your level of satisfaction with life), which is usually the most striving for? Have you ever wondered why this is so?
If we don’t take the time to really think about these questions, then we will never get to them, but it is worth starting to do it quickly.
As soon as we open our eyes in the morning, our mind and attention are already filled with the things that we must do throughout the day. Our day begins with the fact that we literally take on our obligations.
Find time to just ask yourself where you are going and if you will end up where you want to go, Is the most important thing you can do for yourself.
What is self-development worth without knowing where your desire to improve comes from, and how will this affect the quality of your life?
2. Make learning a habit
It is necessary to acquire good habits, for example, start learning something new every day.
Without being influenced by other ways of thinking, avoiding new information and not having a different view of the world, the quality of our thoughts will not change.
If we do not find a way to transform our thoughts, then our entire existence will be limited by the framework that was originally set. If we do not change anything in our life and it will be so until its end, then we can say that we have already died.
What does it mean to feel alive? A living person is attentive, active, involved.
When our attention always follows the same path, our actions in any situations are automatic and are not aimed at growth and development, then we cannot consider ourselves active and involved.
3. Stop wasting energy and get some rest
If we are awake what we usually do from 10 pm to 2 am? I especially want to ask this question to every teenager.
It's one thing when we spend time with friends or family and enjoy it, and completely different when we watch TV or wander on the Internet.
We often suffer from a lack of time, but have we ever really wondered, how much do we spend on completely useless and meaningless things? Time the day at least once to gauge the usefulness of your daily activities.
Agree that if we stopped wasting our nights so uselessly, then we could have a good rest, and then wake up with full readiness to create our day according to our own rules, and not lament because of the lack of time for ourselves.
We all have certain obligations and we all have some desires.
Stop wasting time and take control of it so that your responsibilities don't take away all the precious time you could spend pursuing your desires.
4. Know your desires
Why are you doing certain things? What drives you when you make certain decisions day after day?
Why do you want one thing now, and after a while - completely different?
Let's say why you now have a strong motivation to be strong, play sports, adhere to proper nutrition, but after 5 minutes you find yourself an excuse not to do this?
And this question has been raised not only for girls who, in principle, tend to often change their desires, but it is relevant for absolutely everyone.
We are all convinced that we know ourselves perfectly, that is, we understand who we are and for what reason we do certain things. However, do not forget that you need to be able to treat yourself objectively and how to look at yourself from the outside.
Learn to notice the inconsistency of your desires. The most effective way to get at least a little closer to the possibility of personal growth is to become the master of your inner contradictions.
5. Take care of yourself physically
Physical ability undeniably plays a very important role in making you feel happy and in a better quality of life.
When we feel bad or hurt, we cannot help but get upset about it, feel sorry for ourselves and not justify our idleness by this.
To get rid of this problem, your physical condition should be at such a level that you do not even think about it... You do this by exercising, eating a healthy diet, and getting adequate sleep.
Without proper oil, water, fuel and regular maintenance, the car cannot drive normally. Its parts begin to fail one at a time until the car collapses entirely.
It also happens with our body. Take care of your body. Give him the opportunity to act in your best interest, and not vice versa.
6. Prioritize.
Instead of trying to rearrange everything at once, focus on a few things first. In some cases, it's even better to focus on just one area at first.
Focus on a few things, but not all at once.
Let's take a look at some simple examples:
- First you dive deep into a question of personal life... Example - finally approach the girl you have long wanted to meet.
- And once you've got it under control, you move on to yours health... Exercise in the morning, go to the gym, buy healthy food, finally make an appointment with a doctor, etc.
- Next, you work on your productivity(get up early in the morning, do not get distracted from the task at hand during the day).
Thus, you will not be overwhelmed, and you will have the opportunity to devote all your resources to successfully change one of the areas of your life.
If you succeed in changing one area of your life, then you will have the confidence you need to change other areas as well.
Determine your focus to start self-development
If you try to tackle everything at once, it will only lead to a lack of time, focus and energy, dramatically reducing your chances of success. Once your initial enthusiasm has passed, it can quickly become overwhelming.
So, choose from one to three areas and focus only on them. Only then can you move on to improving other areas of your life.
Many people in our world are knowledge addicts, they only like to collect more knowledge, but then they do not take real action, which creates a false sense of personal development.
Now you know where to start self-development and how to prioritize self-improvement. Do not forget these 6 simple rules that will help you achieve success in your self-development.
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Ask yourself the heading question a couple of months after using the 10 methods below.
Read and try to implement those that you liked and responded to in your heart. Do not think that they are too simple or, on the contrary, too complicated. Just go ahead and implement. With regular use, you will soon find that they can literally "blow up" your life by unleashing creativity or bringing new sources of material income into your life, or helping to improve your fitness. So to the point:
1. Create an opportunity for yourself to write down all the ideas that come to your mind during the day. Carry a notebook with a pen with you, use an electronic organizer in your smartphone or communicator, use a voice recorder in your cell phone, but just be sure to record your ideas. Choose a topic that is most relevant to you now, for example, financial situation and give the task to your subconscious mind to generate thoughts in the direction of attracting new sources of income into your life. And fix it, fix it, fix it. You have no idea how powerful your intention will become, which, together with new ideas, will give you a clear picture of what needs to be done next. The next day, try working on a different topic.
2. By the way, you can use the way to be.
3. The art of small steps - do something every day. Plan and do. Take physical fitness for example - if you write yourself out a set of 20 exercises, then very quickly abandon them. Indeed, in addition to the body getting used to new movements, your psyche must also get used to them. But with her you need to mess around longer and softer. Therefore, for the first two weeks, do only 2 exercises every other day - and. Hold out for two weeks and you will be pleased with the first results obtained and curious about what to do next.
4. When you are just learning a new skill, a new skill, a new exercise - try to behave as if you are a professional in this matter. Pretend, play, believe in this image. The brighter you believe, the faster you will master.
5. Break your day into blocks - morning, afternoon, afternoon, evening. This will make it easier to plan what type of activity to deliver at what time.
6. The most important thing that you need to start doing right away is to relate to life in such a way as to get the most out of it. Yes, that's so simple and selfish on the one hand and very practical on the other. One of the options is described. Choose any method for yourself after reading several worthwhile books on self-development and persistently change your attitude towards life.
7. Communicate with people who have a lot to learn from. Get rid of whiners and other people who drag you down from your life. If you cannot find worthy people yet ... look for and do not say that there are no such people.
8. To feel great and look normal in ANY situation, you need to confidently swim on three whales - healthy nutrition, physical activity and mental self-regulation. But the details may already be different and your task is to choose for yourself exactly those methods and techniques that will work for you 100%, taking a minimum of time. You can't do it yourself, find a specialist who will train you in these topics for money, and then let you float freely. You can master everything yourself, but why would you waste time and energy making mistakes that can be avoided.
9. Keep a journal. But not a simple fixation of your life - you ate, called, slept, but a real diary of self-development. This topic is interesting and will not fit in a couple of lines, but in short, then ... find on the Internet what the "wheel of life balance" is and, on its basis, break the diary into topics according to this "wheel". Find yourself a convenient way to plan for the day and week. At the end of the day, be sure to write down 2-3 of your successes in your journal. It's even better if you do a short debriefing in the evenings. For example, in the afternoon there was a situation in which you misbehaved. “Revisit” it in the diary from the correct angle. - Chandler, what should we do? - Joe, think, what would we do if we were smart?
10. Use the most productive 5-10 minutes before falling asleep in the evening for self-hypnosis, “recapitulation” (in Google!), Health improvement (I have significantly improved my vision in 3 months) and ... much more you can do at this time.
With the growth in the number of motivational and developmental books and articles, it is not only the author's personal experience in a particular issue that matters, but also the availability of any practical evidence that these methods work. Let's talk today about what areas should be developed.
Personal self-development: an experiment
An experimental study was conducted with the participation of a group of young people. They were given a condition - it is necessary to spend 2 days alone. At the same time, no entertainment was allowed, including gadgets. They could still study, read ordinary books, write anything, and so on - a set of ordinary household chores. Plus, each of the participants could stop participating at any time.
Experiment Results
The results are shocking to say the least. The experiment involved about 100 people, but only 3 reached the final: 2 girls and 1 one guy. Later they told how they occupied themselves. The young man devoted time to physical training, one of the girls plunged into the world of art and creativity - she read books and wrote a diary, and the other - into herself - took up meditation.
The rest of the participants simply could not stand the torture, saying that they decided to end their participation. But, even worse, each of them changed their internal state - they became more nervous, irritable and chronic diseases began to work themselves.
Conclusion
Modern youth are simply not adapted to live without what they themselves are accustomed to. They cannot completely abstract themselves from the world and plunge into the depths of their own consciousness, or even choose more traditional means of spending time.
Most young people definitely devote themselves to television, surfing the Internet and social networks, and texting about anything. At the same time, the concept of "self-development" is either unknown to them, or has no meaning.
Self-development - where to start?
To start, as always, you need to understand what exactly you are doing. Development is the process of improving or changing everything that exists. Life, in fact, is a constant development, which, if it does not touch any qualities, necessarily passes through the prism of growing up, social relations and different views of the world.
Based on these judgments, we come to the conclusion that self-development is purposeful actions, the main goal of which is to change or improve certain aspects of life, be it a career, communication skills, or any necessary skill.
Understanding your own actions is the first step towards self-development. Now, specifically about where to start.
- Set goals;
- Plan your day;
- Start reading;
- Lead a healthy lifestyle;
- Master your communication skills;
- Find a hobby;
- Get financial independence;
- Learn a foreign language;
- Become more confident in yourself;
- Travel.
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