I don’t remember what I did at the corporate party. I am ashamed after the corporate party. What to do? A colleague equal in influence and position

Not everyone remembers that a holiday party at work is still a corporate event where you need to behave appropriately. If you do not want to seem tactless and then blush in front of colleagues, remember these things and never do them on a corporate party.

Do not miss an event

Do not refuse to participate in a corporate holiday, unless you already have plans for this evening.

“You may not want to go to a corporate party, but it’s important for you to show your dedication to the company,” said Barbara Pachter, an expert on etiquette and author of The Basics of Business Etiquette. “Your absence will not go unnoticed and, most likely, your boss or other top managers will pay attention to him.”

Don't go first

Of course, sooner or later, someone will need to leave the event first. But for the same reason that you should not miss the corporate party, you should not be the first guest who will leave.

Remember to prepare for your companion's party

Very often at a corporate party they are allowed to take a loved one or friend with them.

Warn your partner in advance about how to dress for the event and which topics should be avoided. Make sure that the person accompanying you understands that his behavior can affect your reputation.

Do not wear inappropriate clothing.

Even if the corporate party does not take place during working hours, you should not dress like in a night club. Put on the clothes that you are not ashamed to wear at work, but since you are going on holiday, you can lightly decorate it - most importantly, do not overdo it.

“You go to a party, but your outfit is suitable for a corporate event,” says Pachter. “Don’t wear anything too short, tight-fitting, or pretentious.”

If your company has a dress code, you should not come to the corporate party in jeans and a T-shirt, and even more so in Hello Kitty pajamas.

Get rid of a bored look

Watch your body language. If you are sitting with a bored or displeased look, the consequences will be almost the same as if you had missed the event at all.

“Do not frown, do not sit with an indifferent look, do not cross your arms and do not yawn,” advises Pachter. “Someone can watch you.”

Don't be a sociopath

Be nice even if you despise your colleagues or you are a beginner and few people know. Do not sit in a corner away from everyone, sticking to the phone screen.

Do not forget to eat

Some employees forget about food and immediately go to the bar because they want to have a drink with colleagues or they don’t want to risk weight for snacks.

But do not forget that if you are going to drink alcohol - even one or two glasses of wine - you will need to eat something.

Don't get drunk

This is a very important rule that many do not follow.

“You don’t have to drink, but if you still drink, try to stay sober,” Patchter advises. “It’s very easy to do something superfluous on a drunken head.”

Set yourself a limit on the amount of alcohol you drink and do not exceed it. Or order a drink that you don’t like and drink a little of it all evening.

Do not gossip or say nasty things about your colleagues

In conversations with colleagues, try to maintain a positive and friendly tone.

If you complain about the company or the boss, you will create an unpleasant atmosphere, and gossip about colleagues can lead to problems. When drunk, you can easily break this rule, so be careful.

Don't flirt with anyone

Corporate party is not the best time for flirting with the boss or his wife.

Sometimes alcohol arouses excessive courage in people, so it is better not to drink it if you are not sure that you can control yourself.

Do not make boring talk about work

Even if the corporate party is in the office and there is someone from work, it is better not to discuss business issues there.

Save your project news until Monday.

Do not leave comments or photos online that may cause you trouble

Remember to come up with conversation topics

The best way to avoid discussing gossip is to create a “conversation plan”. As Voltaire said, "who has nothing to say, he always speaks badly."

If you plan to talk with a newbie, come up with a few questions that will help you start a conversation.

If you decide not to drink alcohol at the event, think about what you will answer to people who will ask why you are not drinking. Want to chat with the CEO? Think about how to start a conversation.

“It’s not necessary to discuss matters only,” says Pachter. - Stay up to date with current events in your community. Read newspapers, news sites, corporate blogs, and magazines about your industry. ”

Don't play the fool

Some forget that the corporate party is a work event, and they go into all serious ways.

There is nothing wrong with having fun and celebrating, but you need to think about the possible consequences of your behavior. So, if you want to sing some indecent song in karaoke, it is better to do it with loved ones, and not with colleagues.

Do not forget to thank the hosts of the party

Be sure to say “thank you” and say goodbye to the organizers. If you are not sure who exactly arranged the corporate party, or did not see these people at the holiday, send your thanks on the next day by corporate mail.

You woke up in the morning after the New Year corporate party and realized that it was hot yesterday. And in my head a million questions: "Why did you anneal the chef on the table, what kind of person are you?"

One thing is obvious: in the office you will be the most talked about and popular character. You probably won’t want to go to work because of yesterday’s exploits. In this situation, the main thing is to develop a strategy of behavior with colleagues. So, an experienced psychotherapist Sergey Gorin and a professional business coach and head of the Russian NLP center Mikhail Antonchik will tell you a couple of life hacks.

How not to do:

1. Never apologize for anything specific.

2. Do not ask your colleagues for small details of your behavior, so as not to ask for forgiveness.

3. Never be shy about anything.

4. Do not communicate with the group and do not refute the group opinion - only individual. For example, if ten people saw that you were dancing naked on the table, talk to each of them individually to refute the allegedly seen by them.

5. Do not go to work with your head bowed and a guilty look.

6. Do not make excuses, they say, "this is the first time with me," "I had a bad snack," "I had the flu on my legs, my body was weakened."

7. In no case do not say "I must not drink ...".

8. Do not lament to colleagues: “How could I,” “do not remind me of this,” “I do not want to remember all this.”

Do this:

1. Walk as if nothing had happened. Pretend nothing such  it didn’t happen and all the events that happened fit well with the concept of the norm for such a context.

2. Surprise your colleagues: "Yes, you are kind of boring, guys. Why do you drink if you really can't rest?"

3. Do your colleagues tell you about your adventures? Laugh, ask what else happened, praise yourself: "Here I am cool! Sober would never have come up with such a thing. Alcohol was good yesterday!"

4. Joke: “Guys, you’re so endless, I don’t drink with you anymore. Wild people! But why did they compromise me alone, I don’t know.”

5. Change the look. At least dress differently - not like yesterday. Change the hairstyle or hair color. For very fundamental interventions, for example, grow or shave a beard (mustache), shave bald. If yesterday you were dancing naked on a table, and today you came to work with raspberry-colored hair, you will discuss hair.

6. Know how to correctly lie, otherwise you have to use the scheme: "No, this was not", "It was, but not what it seems." That is, after the event, you can present for discussion either the version “I didn’t dance naked on the table, what nonsense!”, Or “I went to dance only in order to distract the public’s attention from you, Ivan Ivanovich, you knocked over the wine yourself on the tie. "

8. Ignore the event, remove it from the discussions, from the information field. And change the agenda, let people talk about something else.

9. If you nevertheless require some kind of apology, then the apology should be the most vague, vague. For example: "This was not and could not be, but if you think it was, then I'm sorry." But you must understand that these recommendations work for a large "livestock". If you have managed to aggravate relations with one person, then just personally apologize.

In the end

Of course, how to behave after a corporate party depends on your position and the scale of the disaster. If it was an ordinary booze, which ended up falling asleep in a salad, then you should not behave like a beaten dog in the morning. In a global sense, nothing happened.

If you take the position of "I'm guilty," you will get pity and condemnation. If you somehow suffered from your fun, then apologize, repair the damage, but do it all without sentiment, for example, like this: "Katerina, you are undoubtedly beautiful. You’re already drunk, forgive me. Let's have a new shirt ", - explained business coach Mikhail Antonchik.

Remember the main thing: a person remembers no more than two weeks that he is not vitally concerned. The most terrible catastrophes on earth, people discuss for ten days, no more. Your behavior is not a global catastrophe, or even local, so it will be forgotten the very next day, ”says psychotherapist Sergey Gorin.

The corporate fun is over, and it’s worth considering: what if it jeopardized your reputation and the safety of your work place in the new year?

What to do in this case and how to avoid negative consequences? Says a reputable technologist and PR specialist Anna Mirochnik.

Corporate is not a vacation, but part of the work. This format allows management to look at employees from a different angle, unite the team and reduce the tension in the team. Therefore, it is impossible to refuse to participate in the celebration without objective reasons: otherwise it will look like sabotage of management decisions.

If you are reading this article, most likely, you did not sabotage the decision to rally the team, but on the contrary, you supported it too ardently. Now we need to reduce the possible negative consequences.

The basics of crisis response for excelled in corporate events

Almost two thousand years ago, a Roman Stoic philosopher said a wonderful thing: "Caesar is not allowed much, because everything is allowed to him." This fully reflects the flip side of high social significance - the higher it is, the more noticeable for others your mistakes will become.

Remember the incidents with politicians or stars. For example, the racist blackamoor brooch of the Princess of Kent. She wore jewelry for a royal dinner, which was attended by the bride of Prince Harry Meghan Markle (whose mother, by the way, is African-American).

Ichef-1.bbci.co.uk / That brooch

There was a scandal. Tabloid The Guardian accused Michel of Kent of racism and insulting the Markle family. For the average manager, such a brooch would be just a decoration and no matter where he put it on, no one would pay such attention to the accessory.

The higher you climb the social ladder, the less you can do openly. The more interesting you are as a person and the more contradictory the information received, the more it will be your pleasure to discuss your oversight.

Keep in mind that people love negativity. And, the lower the cultural level of the collective, the higher the likelihood of a public hearing. If at a corporate party you gave a blunder, you do not need to blame your bourgeois colleagues. Evaluate the situation and try to fix it. First of all, pay attention to the following criteria:

• The level of your significance - the easiest way to make a mistake here. It seems to one that their significance is small - and they are losing control of the situation, to another - that their life is interesting to more people than they really are.
• How much your case contradicts the norms accepted in the company - so if the company de jure or de facto prohibits romantic relationships between employees, random sex with a colleague may cost you work.
• How much your case is contrary to public standards - for example, a woman's drunken trick is not as easy to forgive as a man. A crying man will lose the respect of his colleagues for a long time (which would be easily forgiven by a woman).
• How much the incident resonates with your image and the established reputation in the team. If the first coquette of the office is caught on hot, the public will shrug and say "what else to expect from it." But if the modest distinguished herself, they will remember this for a long time.

These moments are necessary to build a competent strategy of behavior. So significance sets risks and room for maneuver. Social and social norms are the context, and your image is the set and type of tools available. Next, we consider the most common negative situations that a woman may encounter during an office party.

What to do if you went over with alcohol

Female drunkenness in Belarus is more squeamish than male drunkenness. Compare how different will be the attitude to the male boss, who comes rumpled with fumes in the morning, and how the female leader will appreciate this behavior. This must be accepted: in the coming years, the situation will remain the same for a number of reasons.

Therefore, ladies should be careful with alcohol. The optimal norm for the evening for a woman is 2 glasses of champagne or wine. Particularly susceptible, I recommend completely abandon alcohol.

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What should I do if I still went through alcohol?

• You yourself got home, being drunk, but without doing anything. If all the participants in the corporate party were plus or minus in the same condition, excellent: rest and recover.
• If you get drunk in the presence of teetotalers, in the morning portray cheerfulness and violent activity. Have a tight breakfast, to speed up the process of decay of alcohol products, increase the amount of water (this will speed up the output of acetic acid, causing a smell), buy fruit chewing gum (peppermint, on the contrary, will give the opposite effect). People should understand that fun does not interfere with your work, and you remain businesslike and collected in any situation.
• They got home on their own, but you were publicly vomited. If you "hurt" a person, write in person in the morning and offer to pay for dry cleaning.
• You were solemnly brought home. If during the delivery of the body, no more adventures happened, thank the savior in the morning. If you have dirty your suit or car, offer to pay and, as an apology, bring something pleasant (not a bottle).

How did you get home, do not remember. If you somehow excelled, you will definitely be told about this. If everything is quiet, in the morning we depict violent activity and listen to what colleagues say.

The worst thing you can do in the morning:

• Start writing to everyone to find out how the evening ended and who drove you home.
• To take the position of “drunkenness is a fight” and in the future sharply criticize all who drink alcohol.
• Complain about a hangover and demand concessions because of this.
• To come to work if "still holding" or during a severe hangover, when you objectively lose working capacity. Take time off at your own expense and do not aggravate the situation.

Random sex

Now we will consider only options with the mutual consent of two adults. Here, from the point of view of reputation, it is important how the company treats romantic relationships between employees. If it is officially or unofficially prohibited, you risk working, so first of all, make sure that there is no evidence confirming the connection.

In addition, it is important to evaluate the consequences, which will be different depending on what position the man holds in the team regarding you:

Boss

In the event of publicity, he loses much more than you. Especially if he is married. Especially if you decide to quit and finally accuse him of harassment (and there are more and more such precedents in Belarus). The greater the risks, the greater the need for such a boss to keep secret. Two scenarios are most likely here: you will be left as a favorite or in the morning they will begin to pretend that nothing happened. The consent to the role of the favorite is a priori losing, but the decision to close your eyes and live on will be at your fingertips.

A colleague equal in influence and position

The safest option, if the man came across unflattering and reliable.

Slave

There is a very great risk of losing objectivity in evaluating his actions as an employee. If you do not want to get your hands dirty with his dismissal, distance yourself as much as possible for a while. When the passions subside, it will be much easier to return to a working relationship.

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Worst thing to do:

• Start discussing what happened with one of your colleagues. Such piquant topics are always overgrown with additional details when transmitting information. And they will certainly pass it on, be sure.
• Ignore the man’s desire to discuss. Take the conversation offline, be respectful and correct. What happened is your responsibility, and you should not offend a person by refusing to talk. But, if you do not plan to continue the relationship, one conversation in a neutral territory away from the office will be more than enough.
• Discuss what happened in the correspondence. Technical support services and some managers read the correspondence of their employees. And even if you think that this cannot be in your friendly team, do not tempt fate. Anything can happen and it’s not worth it to substitute once again.

I had a fight with the bosses or with one of my colleagues

It is important how many witnesses there were during the conversation and what place you take de facto in the company.

The most painless option would be if you are an ordinary ordinary employee, whom the boss does not know well in person. If you aren’t fired the next day, try not to get caught by the authorities in the near future (you should not apologize and offer to clarify the situation). In the future, make yourself a rule not to criticize superiors with colleagues: whiners and dissatisfied are disposed of in the first place.

If your position involves frequent communication with the boss, the next day, apologize in person. No need to sprinkle ash on your head and conduct a dialogue in the spirit of “you are the best boss of the best company”: you still won’t be trusted. Say yes, there is discontent, but you regret the chosen intonation and wording. And always, criticizing something in the company, offer solutions to the problem, showing that you are ready to participate and bring benefits. This will work if there were no witnesses to the scandal. If the conflict had witnesses, the situation becomes more complicated. There are a million options and scenarios that depend on your plans for work in the organization and personal relationships with superiors and “viewers”.

If you get excited about talking with an equal in the corporate hierarchy, an apology will suffice. If you want, give a gift. Say that you will be happy to continue the relationship and distance yourself. Do not push or stuff your friends.

The worst that can be done in this situation:

• To fool, mumble and try to "adjust from below" to the person. This will not help to smooth the relationship, but respect for you will lower. It was in childhood that we could cry in front of mother, she felt sorry for us, and the conflict was considered settled. This does not work in adults.
• Start making excuses - this will further weaken your position. "The word is not a sparrow," remember?
• Run after a person to give a gift or compensation. Learn to accept failures and hear no.
• If the apology is not accepted, hunt for a person to clarify the situation anyway.
• Blame everything on the effects of alcohol. In any case, your words remain yours, do not devalue yourself.

A rare person did not get into situations that are later embarrassing to remember. Everyone can stumble and break firewood, but the earth because of this does not stop turning. Draw conclusions and in the future lose your head away from people with whom you still have to work.

On New Year's corporate parties, few people are sitting quietly in the corner, most of them light as if it were the last time in their life. And as soon as the degree of fun reaches a degree of drunk alcohol, not everyone is able to answer for themselves. Such "heroes" with horror are waiting for the end of the January holidays, because at work people will have to look in the eye.

   Having heard from the corporate party, our people first of all run to lighten the soul on the forums. Here are a few revelations (spelling and punctuation of the authors saved):

I definitely arranged something at the corporate party. Two employees whom I remember at this disco do not look into my eyes at all. Maybe I persuaded them to cohabitation?

  And I had sex with the boss in front of the whole team. Now I go to swing)

  I at the office party at the husband annealed. Arranged incendiary dances, picked up some young guy and began to kiss him directly with everyone and with her husband too. True, it was a long time ago, about five years ago, but they still remember. And I forgave myself, at first I was ashamed, and then I calmed down.

  When I decently drink, I predict the future ... The trick is that it is coming true. A sober and I do not remember point blank.

  And I confessed to drinking in a booze. I had to quit my job, despite the fact that with orientation I was fine.

Our CEO invited his wife to the corporate party. And she, decently drinking, was jealous of him to one employee and threw a 3-liter jar with compote into it. She managed to dodge, and the can in bounce against the wall. Then she (the wife) pounced on her, tearing her hair straight with her skin. I saw this for the first time so that my hair flew off with bloody pieces.

When the January holidays end, the question arises more and more sharply - how to go to work?

Journalist Ekaterina Kruglova recommends first of all to understand why it was the feeling of shame. “If the body could not cope with alcohol and sent it out, this is an unpleasant situation, but there is nothing to be ashamed of: with age, even the strongest stomach begins to give up. A frank dance, filmed on a video and uploaded to the Internet, has already become so trivial that it is hardly worth remembering about it for too long. Worst of all, if, under the influence of alcohol, an employee speaks to a colleague, or even to the boss, a lot of unpleasant things - in this case, the matter may even go to dismissal, ”she notes.

If everything is not so scary, just pretend that there was nothing, and ignore all discussions. “What happened at the corporate event should remain there and unnecessarily focus on the fact that someone has excessively relaxed or behaved extravagantly, a sign of bad education and violation of business ethics,” emphasizes Yekaterina Kruglova.

Practicing psychologist Ilya Shabshin assures that colleagues really will soon forget the events of the corporate party, and he recommends transforming the feeling of shame into a decision not to step on the same rake again.

“A few years ago a client came to me who told me that she had a drink at a corporate party and had sex with a colleague. She was worried that now everyone would say that she, as is now customary to say, is a woman of "low social responsibility." But there was nothing like that. After the holidays, everyone went to work and business days began, ”adds Ilya Shabshin.

A similar example is given by the representative of the social network for travelers Enjourney.ru Natalia Lazareva. “At one of my past works, a colleague went through too much and behaved incorrectly. Yes, some people reminded her of this the next day, and there were even laughter behind her. But my attitude, like most of the employees, towards her has not changed, because she is a wonderful person, ”she said.

Arriving at work, try to reduce everything to a joke, if possible. For example, you can say with a smile: “He who himself is without sin can throw a stone at me” or: “It was impossible to become famous without explosive PR”. It all depends on what you have done. If you have a fight, then it’s rather not jokes that are needed, but apologies.

“Look calmly into people's eyes. In a couple of days, no one will even remember your action. Everyone thinks about his person more than others, ”adds Natalia Lazareva. - If possible, take time off at least for a couple of days and leave. Abroad, along the Golden Ring, to a neighboring city - it does not matter. Everyone knows that traveling is the best way to deal with stress. You will have time to recover, and the employees at work will no longer discuss this news at your exit. ”

Well, really, draw conclusions.

On New Year's Eve, many companies hold holiday corporate parties. We relax and sometimes lose control of ourselves, as a result, after such events, we often become "excruciatingly painful and ashamed" for our behavior. What to do in such a situation? And is it possible to avoid "far-reaching consequences"? Here are some recommendations.

You went through alcohol

Most likely, not only you. Others may not have noticed that you drank excess. You have no complaints? So calm down! Do not try to make excuses, because there simply aren’t ideal people, and we all can sometimes “give up on slack”.

You had too much fun

For example, they sang loudly or danced on the table ... So what? After all, a holiday for that and a holiday to have fun. Have you done something bad or indecent? No, you just enjoyed life, why not ?! As the saying goes, the matter is time, a fun hour!

You had a fight with a colleague

Drinking helps people start to behave more naturally. Sometimes it even goes into aggression. You could tell a colleague what you did not dare to say in a sober state. Word for word - and a scandal broke out!

Be sure to explain when you sober up. It may be worth this time to state your claims in a “calm” format. It is possible that a constructive dialogue will result.

You told the boss everything you think about him

You gave him the first number: for a small salary, and for excessive loads at work, and for incompetence ...

This is perhaps the worst thing you could do. But if you were not fired the next day, then it means that you were heard and the right conclusions were drawn.

If you said too much to your boss, then do not rush to apologize. They can even make him more crazy. Wait until the steam disappears, and then decide whether to clarify the situation.

You got into a fight with someone

If this happens, then try to discuss the situation with your ex-opponent. Either find out the causes of the conflict that has arisen, or if the skirmish arose from scratch, apologize to the person.

You flirted with one of your colleagues

And it was not just courtship - you kissed, squeezed, and maybe even had sex in the toilet ... Or drove to one of you home and spent the night together there.

This applies, in general, only to you two. It all depends on how you feel about him (her). If you would like to establish a relationship, but before this case you did not dare to take the first step, maybe you should continue to show attention.

If you do not feel any feelings for a person, you can try to explain yourself and say that everything that happened was a mistake. If everything turned out by chance at all and you both know this, then you should not draw attention to this: just pretend that there was nothing.

You told something you shouldn't have told

For example, they admitted that they were in love with Vasya from a neighboring department or that you had an affair with Lyubochka from accounting ... Or they shouted out loud that your boss was sleeping with his secretary, and in the presence of his own wife!

Fortunately, people do not always listen to "drunken delirium". It’s best in the morning to pretend that you didn’t say anything like that ... And if you start pestering with inquiries - say that you were misunderstood ... In a word, deny everything that was said - let them think that you had some nonsense when drunk.

By the way, it also happens that your "terrible secrets" are not interesting to anyone at all. Then there is nothing to worry about!

You don't remember anything

When trying to restore the events of the evening the day before, a black gap gapes in my head. At least this applies to some part of the corporate party ...

Do not worry about this. Since nothing has been preserved in memory, it is not a fact that something extraordinary has happened. Be sure: if it happened, you would probably be told about it! Therefore, behave as if nothing had happened. But if, on the contrary, you start asking everyone about what happened to you, people will be wary.

But the best thing is not to get involved in drinking. After all, it is she who usually pushes us to rash acts. Remember that a corporate party is still not a party with friends, and if you violate business ethics or subordination, the consequences can be very unpleasant, including dismissal. Be careful!